2021(?)

It has been 4 months since I have moved to Los Angeles, got all my stuff stolen, and got settled into my apartment. I had no clothes, no job, and no idea what was going to happen. Now, I have been able to rebuild my wardrobe, I have been working since the beginning of October, and I still don't know what's going on.

I don't like making resolutions because I usually get really mad at myself when I don't keep them but this year I decided to grow up. My resolution for 2021 is to be able to touch my toes before 2022. I have never been able to touch my toes because my stomach is always in the way and I haven't stretched in 15 years. SOo I figured this would be a good goal for the new year that has nothing to do with stressful things like work or my personal life. 

It's crazy that we're already in 2021. We lost so much of 2020 that it seems like we should just restart the clock and get a redo. Time is an illusion after all. Or we can push through and move forward. Make this year and the ones that follow bigger and brighter. I choose that option.

It's easy to dwell in the past and think of the terrible things that have happened. There was so much loss in 2020 that finding things we've gained is like searching for a needle in a haystack. But, I decided to bring some magnets into the haystack so I can pull out the needles. Think smarter, not harder. Also, this metaphor is horrible and confusing. Essentially, I have chosen to think of the good things that I've gained throughout the year, while still remembering the loses.

Pulling out positivity has helped me get through many things in the past few years. A global pandemic that turned our world upside, has taken the lives of so many people, and doesn't seem to be going away anytime soon is something that we all need to power through in our way.

What good things have happened to me this year?

Let's start in January. 

I was able to bring some of my best friends to one of my favorite places, the iO Theater. I spent my winter break seeing as many shows as I could and was able to share the laughter with the people I love. That was an excellent way to start the year. Then, my dad and I road tripped to California. There are few things that I love more than sitting in silence for nine hours while my dad and I drive through the desert with no signs of civilization besides the road we're on. I am entirely serious. I loved it. :)

My last semester of college started in the City of Angels. Soaking up the sun and knocking shoulders with stardom. I loved my classes, loved my internship, and loved exploring a new city that was dripping in entertainment history. I made a lot of new friends and some great memories.

The pandemic caused me to cut my semester in the sun early and move back home. My classes continued on Zoom and my classmates and I would have theme days to keep things fun. I got to keep interning virtually which I LOVED. Additionally, I was able to do two of my favorite things; sit on my ass and watch TV. WHILE consuming carbs. I know for a fact that that's what my heaven looks like.

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Well, Sister Syd came back to Chicago from the rugged streets of Texas and blessed out home for THREE MONTHS. If you know my family at all, you know we're better when we're together. We were all spoiled for three months that we got to be all together again for a long period of time. Something that we don't know if or when it will happen again.

I also spent a lot of time with my cousins, Aunt, and grandparents. My Nana and Papa have a pool so we were stylin' all summer. I would make grilled cheeses for my Nana and I. Also everyday at 2:45pm, Papa would bring everybody in the pool apples and peanut butter. I was a freaking princess. Nana decided she wanted to go through their entire house which is a DREAM for me. My Nana is one classy SOB and I knew there were some gems of history hidden in the depths of one of the walk-in closets. I've written about this before but I truly think about my time with Nana all the time. Everyday I try and wear a item that she gifted me so I have a little piece of family with me always. The clock that belonged to my great grandmother sits on my desk and I listen to the ticking to fall asleep. I felt like I was watching my Nana go through her history and her memories. I think I can speak for both of us when I say that our time spent together this summer made us closer than ever.

Three of my BFFs were home for the summer so that was also a win. Shoutout Hannah, Sam, and Rachel. Hannah left after some time and Sam was only there for a bit but Sweet Baby Ray was with me the whole time. It's crazy how much you realize you miss your friends when you spend more time with them. Not a day goes by when I'm not thinking about these three and I am counting the days until I can see them again.

Another thing I did was exercise for three months straight. Ew. I guess that's cool. My mom was really surprised when I did the highest box jump but hey, I'm awesome. Also, it was another opportunity to spend a whole hour with my sister. :)

Then I moved BACK to the Wild Wild West in search of gold. I moved in with my camp friend Rachel (different from the previously mentioned Rachel) and we began to take on the world. Unfortunately, the world quickly started to close up and we spend a lot of time watching Whose Line Is It Anyway? on the couch all day. But, still fun! We live by the ocean and palm trees and hills and fun!

At the end of September I interviewed for a job on the COVID safety team on one of my favorite TV shows, and got the job! I started working in the office at the beginning of October and the rest is history. Well, not history because I still work there but the phrase sounded good. I can't say much about it since we're still filming but I am enjoying myself. I'm meeting exciting people and making great friends.

My family came to LA for Thanksgiving and it was not long enough. Since we were spoiled for three months, any amount of time seems too short. But, I am grateful that they came and loved having them.

Now, I'm just chilling. I've been on break for a bit and I've been using the time to nurse my body and drive around to see COVID friendly attractions. I think I'm being careful but you really never know. I'm also trying to spend more time writing and reading, My mind needs to exercise its creative muscle a bit more. 

I got to see my BFF Molly on New Years. We met halfway and took a hike where I was heavy breathing the whole time and only fell on my butt once. Loved it.

Anyway, the point of talking about the positive things that happened in my life this year was to get you thinking about the good things that happened to you. It's crazy how selfless I'm being. We can't forgot how hard this year has been but we can bring the happy things with us into 2021 and continue to create good memories.

Of course there were negative things that have happened to me this year, but I don't want to dwell. I want to move forward and think into the future. A future of highs and lows that I can conquer. A future of wins and loses that I can learn from. A future of change and difference that I can be a part of. But most importantly, a future with the people I love surrounding me.

In the words of my dear cousin Ryan's blogpost (link below), "We still continue to press on and try to live our lives to the best of our ability". Keep walking with your head up and because good things are coming.

I know we're all tired but this pandemic isn't going anywhere just because there's a vaccine. Take it from me, my entire job revolves around keeping over 200 people safe from COVID while working in tight proximity in small spaces. If one person falls, we all fall. We need to do our part to keep safe and mitigate the spread. If you have to leave the house, wash your hands, stay six feet a part, and wear a mask. Let's get the world back to normal.

Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk. 

I'm gonna go watch the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Part 4. If you can, you should watch Soul on Disney+, The First Weekend In May on Hulu, and Supernatural on Netflix. I just finished Supernatural and it took me 6 months so if you have commitment issues maybe skip it.

Thanks for reading, stay golden. :)

Ryan's Blog!!!

Pressing On - Relient K