High on Life, Drunk on Good Times

I would like to take the time to explain my outlook on the drinking and drug culture of college. If you're a teenager reading this, you may think I'm just a pussy and boring. If you're an adult reading this, you may wish your child was more like me. If you're my mom, you're probably proud of me but would want me to cut loose and "enjoy college" more like you did back in the day. I have my own opinions, beliefs, and reasonings on drugs and alcohol and, so far, college hasn't changed them.

Let's start off with my experiences in high school. I have no experiences. I did nothing illegal in high school besides drive more than one person in my car before I was 17. Even then it was just a day before my birthday and I was driving from school to the neighborhood across the street. This wasn't because I was afraid or anything. I never did anything drug or alcohol related because it wasn't important. I needed good grades to get into a good college and I chose to dedicate my time elsewhere. Also, I was never invited to any gathering with illegal substances. But this post isn't about my lack of social life in high school. We can talk about that a different time. Anyway, my first sip of anything happened the summer before senior year. And even then, it was a sip.

Fast forward to college and there are bottles and bongs everywhere you go. If you've been to college, you know what I mean. If you haven't, you'll see. I wasn't shocked or surprised or anything. People used to give me warnings like, "just wait until you get to college", or "better be comfortable now otherwise you're gonna hate college". You were all wrong. I'm fine. I'm glorious. I'm comfortable. Leave me alone.

Since being at college, I have had very little alcohol consumption. All my friends ask me if I've ever gotten drunk and I can answer that honestly with a firm NO. "But why it's so fun?!?!" False. It could be fun for you. Until you blackout and don't remember why you ended up on the corner couch in a random frat house with dried drool on your face and a blasting migraine. It's fun to "pre-game" the party with your friends until you spend the remainder of the night clutching the porcelain throne in her apartment and don't even make it out. And sure, getting high is fun until you stink up your entire room and your RA kicks you out. Like I said, what's fun for you may not be fun for me.

Now, I know it may seem like I'm AGAINST all these activities but I'm not. Do whatever you want. I just want you to be safe. I currently hold a position in my sorority that is literally in charge of making sure everyone is safe at parties. What do I care if you "can't have fun" unless you're drunk? Go ahead! Take four shots and dance your heart out on that elevated surface. I DO care if you're so out of control drunk that your breasts and booty keep popping out of your outfit without you noticing. Or if you're dancing next to an open window and are having trouble standing up straight and could topple over and fall outside. That's when I come in with a bottle of water and a bag of pretzels to calmly ask you to settle down.

I'll be honest with you. I have had an alcoholic beverage since being at college. I know. Shocking right?!?! Here's my thing; I want to be in control. I don't ever want to feel like I don't have control of my thoughts, emotions, or actions. That scares me. It doesn't "feel good" to have something influence me. It doesn't "make things more fun" knowing I might not remember myself having the fun in the first place. It's not enticing to me. I don't think it ever will be. You raised a good one ma and pa.

I have friends who think it would be fun to get me drunk and I agree. It would be fun to see myself drunk ONE time. The only problem with that is that I won't actually see myself drunk because I won't know what's happening. Additionally, I don't know how to get drunk. Literally I have no idea. I don't understand how people can stand drinking alcohol that tastes like nail polish remover just so they can be drunk. No thank you. Bar tender I would like a vodka lemonade, hold the vodka and extra lemonade.

I titled this post "high on life, drunk on good times" because that is my own personal motto. "Are you drunk?" Yeah. Only on good times. "Are you high?" Oh yeah I have the best kind of high. I'm high on life, buddy. I hope to live by this statement but apply it to adventure. I want to be high on life and drunk on good times throughout my life. I want to be addicted to thrill and remember the excitement.

So call me whatever you want as long as you're safe. The bottom line is that I am living proof that you don't need to be under the influence of anything to have fun. Since college has started, I have gotten really good at pretending I'm drunk and I plan to perfect the "drunk Lindsey" character by the time I graduate.

I held empty red cups in my hands so I would know where to put the emojis and seem cooler for this picture.