Harvey Weinstein

I'm going to assume everyone has heard about the Harvey Weinstein sexual harassment allegations. I hate that word. "Allegations". Over 30 women have stepped forward. He did it. That's it.

Anyway, I'm currently writing a paper for one of my classes on this story and I've learned a lot in my research. I want to begin with the fact that the first indication of a sexual harassment by Weinstein was in 1987. THIRTY YEARS AGO. That's ridiculous. You're telling me that in over thirty years, his colleagues and peers heard, and said, NOTHING about his actions. My mom knows when I have my period just by my tone of voice when I call her.

Seems a little fishy doesn't it? I'm not digging for inside information here. All I want to do is state facts and to show everyone that this has been a common thread throughout his career. Taking advantage of young, females and promising them success in return.

I googled Harvey Weinstein when the news broke out and I was angry because he took part in making some of my favorite films. Pulp Fiction, Good Will Hunting, Spy Kids, Ella Enchanted, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl, Silver Linings Playbook, all tainted with his name in the credits.

The Weinstein Company said they had "no idea" what was going on. NO IDEA. Harvey literally had an assistant whose only job was to organize "meetings" with aspiring female models and actresses. I think they knew but nobody said or did anything. Nobody wanted to stand up to the beast. And no one came forward out of fear. The thing that also keeps me thinking is that there is no way he's the only one. There are probably other key players in the entertainment industry that are doing the same thing but nobody has stepped forward. Hopefully the recent events will encourage others.

I interviewed a friend in my sorority for the paper I was writing for my class. She is a sexual assault survivor. I asked her what she thought of the number of women who were speaking out. She said something that burrowed it's way in my mind.
"sexual assault is sexual assault. It doesn't matter the number."

HOW TRUE?? SEXUAL ASSAULT IS SEXUAL ASSAULT.  And it's not okay. Of course it's not okay for over thirty women to go through it, but it's also not okay for one woman to go through it. Or men for that matter.

If someone would have spoken up THREE DECADES ago and unveiled this monster, maybe less women would've been harassed. But that's the past. The important thing is what's happening now.
Women are coming out all over social media and the world is starting to talk. The conversation is more exposed now than ever before.

So what now? Now we must fight. We must show the world that these actions are not okay. We must educate the youth about sexual assault, harassment, and relationship violence. We must expose those who feel they "deserve" something from us or think just because they have power, that we'll be submissive to unwanted actions.

Alyssa Milano started the Me Too campaign on social media. Those who have been sexually assaulted or harassed write Me Too on a social media platform. The amount of facebook statues I saw with these two words shocked me. My peers, my family, my friends, all with those two words on their timelines. We must show our support and stand up for ourselves.

THIS STUFF IS SO NOT OKAY. Sorry that wasn't very formal but it makes me so angry. I am appalled by Harvey Weinstein and everything I am reading about this situation. It makes me more fearful to enter the professional world and being afraid, frightens me even more.

I'm sorry if this post goes around in circles or makes anyone uncomfortable. I've been doing a lot of research on Weinstein for my paper and I had to write down my thoughts. It urks me so much that people who are serial assaulters can get away with it for so long. It urks me that anyone can get away with unwanted forceful actions.

This is one of my more serious blogs, but it needed to be done.

A member of one of the sorority houses on my campus has started a campaign called We Know What Happens. She sells shirts and buttons to help bring awareness to sexual assault and harassment. There are people all around campus wearing these words. I encourage you to support her by following the instagram @weknowwhathappens

Thank you all for reading! Stay safe, and stay aware.

A Post to Make My Mom Cry

I'm not an emotional, touchy-feely person so please don't mistake this post with me automatically becoming the worlds most lovable daughter. That's Sydney.

All my life I have felt a slight pressure from my mom. A pressure to look good, do well in school, keep the right company, and to succeed no matter what. Sometimes that pressure has gotten the best of me but most of the time, it's encouraging.

College is hard. I called my mom last week and she told me to get a job and find a summer internship. I left the conversation overwhelmed because I have a lot on my plate as it is. Those two things are on my radar but there are a lot of things that I have to check off before I get to them.

My mom called me today just to ask about my weekend. She asked how I was and I said, "fine". A word I took from her vocabulary actually. She asked me why I was just fine and I said all the things that were on my mind. A stream of stress came out of my mouth. I don't like to admit to my parents when I feel overwhelmed because I don't like to ask for help or show weakness. I know, horrible. I've been trying to get better at it. They already do so much for me that I don't want to burden them with silly things that they have no control over.

But everything just sort of came out. My stress about my sorority, about my major, studying abroad, summer plans, birthright, and more. I was expected a sarcastic comment, since that's kind of how this family works. We make each other feel better with sarcasm and chocolate. Considering I am in another state, I knew I was only getting a sarcastic comment.

To my surprise, my mother didn't try to be funny. She went through all of the things I said and told me reasons why I shouldn't worry. That all of it will be resolved and figured out in time. We agreed that although I may not like my classes, they will help me in future careers. We talked about that no matter what happens in my sorority, with executive board and living in the house again, we're prepared for all of it. No matter what I'll be studying abroad and that I should apply for as many internships I can because I will not sit on the couch all summer and be a hostess at Egg Harbor.

Usually I go to my sister when I need to feel better because she understands the things my parents can't. But this time I needed my mom to tell me everything will be okay. That as long as I try my best, I can accomplish whatever I set my mind to.

My mom has always been the practical-realistic parent. But since coming to college, she's opened her mind to the fact that I don't know what I'm doing or what I'm going to be. She's realized that I have dreams that I intend to accomplish. And now, her support is there with me every step of the way.

Now I know she'd going to text me because she has found something in here that could be insulting. I'm asking you to look at the BIG PICTURE mother.

Attention all my other moms: please raise a glass of wine to yourselves next happy hour at the Bini household. Thank you for making my mom who she is and letting her know she has the best kids in the world because I feel like sometimes she forgets.
And on behalf of all of your children, thank you for believing in us and doing everything you do.

SophoMORE of MSU

Live from East Lansing, it's your girl.

47 days into the semester and I am knee deep in the sweetness of East Lansing. The start of the semester has been a little slow but exciting, nevertheless. We've had some good times and some not so good times but, in these 47 days, I have felt older and wiser than ever before. I'm not a tiny clueless freshman trying to find my way around campus. I am a medium sized sophomore struggling to find my classes and trying to figure out the REST OF MY LIFE.

That's all I've been thinking about. The future. Where am I living next year? Where am I studying abroad? Can I get an internship for this summer? The general college things. But me, I like to have everything figured out. I don't like the unknown. But that's part of growing up. Figuring it out.

This year I have gone out less than last year too. School and building my resume seem more important at this time in my life. If you did not know, I want to be a writer. WHAT?! Yes. I don't know what kind of writing so I'm taking electives to see what I'm interested in.

I'm currently in the market for a summer internship so hit me up if you've got one. I'm hoping to do something with social media or literally anything. Anne Hathaway in the Devil Wears Prada? BRING IT. Possibly in Chicago so I can take Second City classes and be a young woman in a big world. That's the dream. To walk through the city streets like I know exactly what's going on and where everything is. Hiding my fear of crowds and crime from all the people passing me on the sidewalk. The song, "Breakthrough" by Hope 7 on repeat in my ears. Have you ever listened to that song? Blast it the next time you are traveling anywhere. It'll get you hyped.

I recognize that there are many steps on the stairs that are my professional life and I don't even have my foot on the first one. But dreaming is what I have always done best. Big dreams keep you motivated and moving. Dreams that are small and "realistic" keep you in a box.

So here I am, Sophomore year, refusing to stay in a box. Making my own decisions and trying new things. Being the best me I can be and refusing to let the stress of college weigh down on my body.

Before I end, I would like to talk about the best decision I have made this year thus far. Late last semester I enrolled in an Improv class for the fall. I told myself that if I get overwhelmed, that class would have to be the first to go. This class is SO much fun. All I have ever wanted to do is make people laugh and I think I am actually getting better at it!! In a structured setting!! I can make sarcastic one liners and get some laughs but actually conducting a scene and thinking on my feet was foreign to me. The students in the class are so supported and our instructor is one of the coolest people ever. I want to be her best friend. I'm trying really hard. I keep sitting right by her at the beginning on class and making comments about my Saturday Night Live knowledge. She's been complimenting me on my improv moves, which is helping with my self esteem issues so thank you. Basically BFF's.

Anyway, that's what's going on so far in my academic life. Nothing is really happening in my personal life. I'd have to have a personal life for things to be happening. *badum chick* OOHH I forgot! I'm going to Israel! Catch me in the holyland in December! So excited to explore the history of my ancestors and be in a different country because, well, you get it.

Peace out loyal readers! :)


Also, check me out on http://www.hercampus.com/school/msu !!

(Shameless plug! I'm almost a professional!!)

The Best of Both Worlds: The Other Side of Recruitment

The longest week of my life is now over and we have welcomed over 50 girls into our home!! Words cannot explain how excited I am to start this year. Actually,  I'm a writer so words can explain it. So, here we go.

The first day of recruitment I was up for 18 hours. I woke up at 5:30am and was SO excited to see all the cuties coming through the door. The first weekends were pretty general and easy. We got to meet all of the potential new sisters coming through rush and got to bond together as a house. I made sure to form a connection with the girls I rushed. I told them about my recruitment experience and how it was a bumpy road. I always made sure to say that whether it's my house or a different house, I hope they find the home that makes them feel wanted and loved. I wanted them to leave our house feeling good about their decisions and making sure that they pick the right fit.

During the second round, I was up for 20 hours. Boy oh boy. By the end of the day I was so cranky. But once again, we had another round of awesome girls who wanted to be a part of our sisterhood. The next round went swimmingly and before I knew it, we were setting up for preference night.

If you read my first post, you know how excited and special this ceremony is to me.  It was this day a year ago that I found my home. I was given the honor of giving a speech during some of the parties and it made me remember how deep the love is that I feel for my sisters. I was able to see the light in the eyes of the girls sitting before me as they could see how strong our sisterhood. I shed a couple tears that night. Happy tears! Don't worry mom! I wanted every girl sitting in that room to find what I had found.

We all felt good after that night. There was a certain energy that SDT inhabited during recruitment. We wanted girls to feel the love we have for one another. We wanted them to see how genuine and kind we are to each other. And that we always have a sisters back. We all had a feeling that it was going to be a good year.

And we were right. 50 girls ran home to us that night. That is more than we could've ever dreamed of. To put it in perspective, my pledge class had around 35 and the pledge class before mine had even less. Our hard work had paid off and our family was expanded. It's true what they say about SDT. First you become a part of it, and then SDT becomes a part of you. It's in my identity now. I'm proud of my impact on the sorority thus far. And I'm forever thankful for the friends I have made. I owe my freshman year, and the rest of my college years to the girls of SDT and I cannot wait for our new girls to experience the impact that I have.

It's true what they say, Sig Delts do it better.

WHY CLOWNS?

Okay, I have something to say. Why are scary clowns a thing? Like, honestly. Last year there was a clown that would walk around school at night just to freak people out. It wouldn't do anything. It just walked around just to get a rise out of people. With this whole clown cult on American Horror Story AND the new IT movie, the public is going to go wild. What do you think is going to happen after you make a movie or TV show about cult/killer clowns? PEOPLE ARE GOING TO START DRESSING UP LIKE KILLER CLOWNS. Have we not learned that people mimic what they see in the media?

I, myself have developed a fear of clowns. I didn't always fear clowns. It started when I realized that clowns are being sensationalized as murders and that a happy clown sighting was now as rare as the solar eclipse. I feel like clowns are the worst possible people to make the villain. We all have memories of clowns when we were younger. They would come to your birthday party and blow up balloons and twist them into little dogs. Clowns were a good memory. AND NOW?? Well, JUST LOOK!

Honestly, this is hurting the clown community. No one wants clowns anymore because they now have a bad connotation. Sorry, that's putting it lightly. They now have a MURDEROUS connotation. Soon all the clowns of the world will be filing for unemployment.

You could've just made them creepy. They didn't have to be killers. I just don't know what to say anymore. I don't just have to be scared about being kidnapped or raped when I'm out at night. Now I have to worry that a killer clown is going to come out of the shadows. That sounds so ridiculous but its true.

Wet Hot American Summer

Hey hey hey!
It's been a minute. Did you miss me? It's been a LONG 11 weeks but I had one of the best summers of my life. Every tear, headache and time I had a strained voice, was worth it. Being a camp counselor is hard. You should never think less of someone because they would rather spend their summer watching kids and playing outdoors. It's hard. You have to constantly be awake and enthusiastic. Which doesn't seem like a big deal but it's kind of difficult when you've been riding around on a bike all night waiting for counselors to get back from "night church". Then you go to bed at 1:30am and have to wake up at 7:00am just to do it all over again. But don't forget. The kids are watching, so put a smile on your face!

Alright, alright. It's easy to pretend you're having fun when you are ACTUALLY having fun. I am a HUGE advocate for overnight camp. Obviously Tanuga over everybody BUT, overnight camp in general is so important. I could go on and on about it.
IF YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO SEND YOUR CHILD TO OVERNIGHT CAMP, YOU SHOULD SEND THEM. This is something that I believe now more than ever. I had time to reflect and think about how much of an effect going to Tanuga for 11 years has had on my life. ELEVEN SUMMERS OF MY LIFE. I'm only nineteen. That's a lot.

I'd have different friends, be at a different school, and I would be a completely different person if I had not spent my summers at camp.

Being a camper and being a staff member is apples and oranges. You're at camp and doing all the regular camp stuff but you're the person the campers look up to now. I had always wondered who my campers would be and if I'd have the same effect on them that my counselors had on me. Did I do it girls? Do you like me? Let me know via our snapchat group chat. I lived with the best cabin in camp for THREE years and I am blessed and honored to have gotten to know each and every one of you girls.

The staff makes the summer. There is laughing, tears, drama, and lots of fun. They set the tone for all the campers and each other. If you ever get the chance to work at an overnight camp, do it. You learn so much and make incredible friends. You not only become friends with the staff, but also the campers. It's a community like no other. You'll learn more about your strengths, weaknesses, and find your independence.

Anyway, if you want to know more about my summer please look at my latest facebook album or just ask me.

Now, I am Live From East Lansing and SUPER excited to start my sophomore year after a summer of fun and great memories.

Adios muchachos!!!

Gone Camping

I was home for less than am month and I am more than excited to leave. I have nothing against good ole Buffalo Grove. I just don't need to be here. I saw everyone from high school that I still talk to and now I'm good. Many of my peers hate being home because they want to go back to school but that is not the case for me. Sure, I want to go back to school. But not until August. Nothing is going on right now and none of my friends would be there so I see no point.

I'm excited to go to my Kalkaska home a little early this summer because I get more time to refresh. Sometimes you need to rough it in the wilderness for a few months to get your mind relaxed and prepped for school mode. I'm also my happiest when I'm at camp and I cannot wait to see what this summer has to offer.

Thank you to everyone who has entertained me during my 20 days of boredom at home. Thank you to everyone at school who I cannot wait to see at the end of August. And thank you to all the new and old staff that I am so excited to spend my summer with, starting in a few days!! Bring on Tanuga summer #11 :)

The End of The Beginning

You probably see all those crappy articles from college students titled "Tips for a college Freshman" or "What I wish I knew coming into college". Like I said, they're all crappy. Everyone has a different experience and it is selfish to think that the person who wrote the article can influence how your freshman year will go. Anything can happen! It's YOUR college experience and you can do whatever you want with it.

This is not one of those crappy articles. This is a reflection. It's more for me than it is for anyone else but everything I write on here is for me to get my feelings and thoughts out so... Anyway, I decided to write about all my favorite moments of this year AND what I have learned. This way I can go back and look at this whenever I want. And so my family and all my friends can see that I actually had a decent year.

1. My Archaeology Class
Okay so taking this class made me so happy! This was the first class of my college career and I was SO excited to take it AND, to this day, I will rave about it. I have always been interested in archaeology and I was ecstatic to be able to dip my toe into the subject. It was a great way to start off the year!

2. SDT
Thank you SDT for letting me invade your house. The experience thus far has changed me forever. Being a part of something has made my freshman year so much better and I cannot wait to make more memories during the next three years.

3. BIG NIK ISH
Nikki intimidated me at first but I'd like to thank Jessie and Jane for pairing us together. This year would've been so different and probably would've sucked if you didn't have my back. I'm excited to continue our adventures and spread our love to a new family member in the fall.

4. Columbia College
Some of you may not know but I toured Columbia College in Chicago in November. Yes I was a student at MSU AND toured ANOTHER school. I'm glad I toured it though because it made me appreciate my home in East Lansing more. I realized what I wanted to get out of my college years and that MSU was the place for me. (Columbia is a REALLY cool school though. Highly suggest checking it out)

5. Inductions
The day after I visited Columbia, I was inducted into SDT and became an official sister. (yay) Now I have a house of girls who life up my spirits when they're not so high and are always down to watch a Disney movie. They're a community I can count on. Love you all :)

6. Washington D.C.
The Hillel asked me to go to D.C. for the Jewish General Assembly and it was awesome. I didn't have to be at school and I was in D.C! So much history!! It was so fun to be around so many inspiring Jewish leaders, and the sight seeing wasn't so bad either. This made me realize how much the Jewish community at MSU needed me to be involved! Thanks for taking me to the country's capital!

7. Risk Management
A the end of November I was elected as the position of Risk Management Chairwoman of SDT. It's hard at times but I LOVE IT. No matter how drunk, emotional or crazy my sisters may get, I'm always there to help. Thanks for letting me mom everyone! Can't wait for another "risky" term.

8. Winter Break
Winter break was a breath of fresh air. I was so excited to refresh and relax. Eventually I got bored. I missed East Lansing. Guess that means I picked the right school???

9. JOURNALISM
I decided to switch my schedule around for spring semester and took a Journalism class. And that was it. I like to write and I want to learn how to write better and differently so I guess that's the avenue I'm going down.

10. Coolest Picture I have ever taken
At a social, that I was sober monitoring for, I took the coolest photo in my life. I will never take a better photo and it is very sad. My roommate even agrees with me. There is no going up, only going down.

11. Rolling out of bed and going to AEPi in my PJ's
It was a Thursday night and Roomie just got home. I was in bed, in my PJ's watching Netflix. She asked me if I was going to AEPi tonight and I gestured to myself laying down. She really wanted me to go so I hopped off my lofted bed, threw a bra on and walked out the door. I was wearing a big Bulls t-shirt and my pac-Man boxers. It was a hit. I literally rolled out of bed and went to a party. My prime.

12. Ice Skating
Roomie planned a sisterhood and we went ice skating. It was awesome except for the fact that my feet hurt after. Fun date idea!!

13. Hockey Game
Rachael took me to a hockey game and it was awesome. The Spartans lost but I won because I had the time of my life.

14. Sprang Brake
Went to visit Molly in Tucson for spring break and was again reminded that Michigan State is the best school. Sorry Wildcats. There ain't no party like a Sparty party. :)

15. New Room!!
In March we picked our rooms in the house next year and THAT was a stressful process. Everything worked out well though and I am very happy with the room I got. I'm SO excited to make memories with all the other girls living in. :)

16. Formal
Quick Tip: If you don't have a boy, take your best friend to formal. Mia, thanks for being the best date and for putting up with the shenanigans that I, as risk management, had to help handle. We had a great night dancing our hearts out and people watching. :D

17. Dirty Tug
This was my peak. Between you and me, this was the first time I was actually intoxicated. I had the time of my life. In the Sun, playing Tug of War with my sisters, getting a little tipsy. It was great. It will probably never happen again but I, along with my friends, had quite a good time. Like I said, I peaked. (P.S. Roomie wasn't there and gets upset every time I bring this day up)

18. Painting the Rock
A long standing tradition at Michigan State is painting the rock. You stay by it all day and night to "reserve" the rock and ensure that no one else will take it and paint it. I got to paint the rock and stayed out until 3:00am. Some of the other girls stayed until like 8am. (there was a tent) It was on my MSU bucket list so I'm happy I did it. To the boys who painted OVER the rock in broad daylight (not suppose to happen, only suppose to paint it at night), it's okay. You're not forgiven, but it's okay.

19. Being Sad to Leave My New Friends
This means you like your school. ^^ I'm not looking forward to leaving the people I see everyday! But, at the same time, I'm ready. I'm ready to have my summer to reflect and refresh, but I'm sad to not have everyone walking distance away. Can't wait to be back in EL at the end of August!!

20. Sister Syd
Real quick I want to acknowledge my sweet sister Syd. She already got an ENTIRE post but I need to mention her here. Things would be very different for me if I didn't have her here this year. Thanks for always looking out for me and making sure I was okay. No need to worry anymore Big Sis. I'm happy to be here and will continue our Spartan legacy. (whatever that may be) ;)

Thanks to everyone in East Lansing who made my freshman year a hit!

Also, thank you to everyone who read my posts throughout the year! I'm going to try and write another before I'm off to Kalkaska for the summer. See you soon :)

Sweet Sister Syd

My sister and I used to spend days setting up Barbie towns in our basement. By the time we were ready to play, our mom would make us clean everything up because we were having people over or the cleaning service was coming.

One winter break we developed secret hand signals to use at the dinner table. The hand signals determined what order we would play with our toys with after dinner. To this day we use these hand signals and our parents still don't know what they mean.

When we were little, my sister and I used to lifeguard each other while we shower or bathe. One of us would sit on the toilet pretending to watch all the swimmers and then blow our whistle while the other sister pretends to drown.

My sister and I went to overnight camp together and she instantly changed to my mother figure once we stepped foot on the Kalkaska ground. Every night, no matter what was happening, she always made time to tuck me into bed and wish me sweet dreams.

My sister, Sydney, is graduating college soon. She will receive a degree in Hospitality and Business from the Broad Business College at Michigan State University.

If you don't know me, and you don't know how I feel about my big sister Syd, this blog post will give you a better understanding of how amazing she is.

Sydney is my best friend. And she will stay my best friend forever and always. She's the first person I tell with good news and the first person I run to with bad news. If you read my previous blog post, then you would know that I went through a tough time not too long ago. My sister was always there for me.

One day during my Sophomore year of high school, things got really bad. I called my sister while she was at college and she answered after one ring. I told her that things were getting bad again and I didn't know what to do. She said that she was getting in the car right then and there to come home because if things were that bad, she wanted to be there.
That's the type of person she is. And it's a type of person that everyone should have in their life whether they're a sibling or a best friend. Someone who drops everything to make sure you're okay.

Academically, my sister's brain has always worked better than mine. She's very smart but isn't showy about it. The best kind of intelligence. Sydney is the logistical, business-y and and organized sister. I, though organized, don't care about logistics and business. I like to create and write. (in case you didn't know) Sydney has ALWAYS been supportive of my writing. She's the one that actually got me to start up again. I used to write stories and poetry in middle school and for a couple years I stopped. I can't remember who we were talking to but they were asking my sister about what she was studying in college and what I might want to study. I shrugged my shoulders and I will still shrug my shoulders today if you ask me because I don't know what's going on.

I remember Sydney saying she thought I should do something with writing. Mind you, I hadn't thought about writing for a while so this surprised me a bit. She told this mystery person that I used to write a lot and that I was actually pretty good at it. So, thank you sweet sister Syd for bringing my passion back to me. If I didn't rediscover my love for writing, things would be very different and I'd probably be majoring in Archeology or Forestry. (Both VERY awesome majors btw). I think everyone who enjoys reading my posts can thank Sydney for their enjoyment. And everyone who hates reading them can blame her for how annoying they are.

In case you couldn't tell, I think very highly of my sister. She's the best person I know. She's sunshine on a cloudy day and she's that kid that every other parent compares you too. Trust me, I would know. Actually, I made it clear at a very young age that I should not, and could not, be compared to my sister. Throughout my life my parents have done a VERY good job at making me feel like I'm my own person."We don't want you to be like your sister! We've already got a Sydney and she's hard enough to deal with! We don't want another one!" Okay maybe that was a bit exaggerated but it went something like that. Although we were raised together, our independence helped us thrive to uniqueness and success.

Sydney studied extremely hard in college and has landed an AMAZING job for after she graduates. If you want to know about it please ask me our my parents because we can talk about how awesome it is for hours and she's getting kind of sick of it. All of her hard work has lead her to this moment and she deserves everything she has gotten and more.
Obviously, she's the better sister. I have already prefaced with my family the fact that I probably won't get an amazing job like this right out of college because I'm majoring in a dying industry but I'll try my best. I plan to mooch off of my sister for a couple years until I get awesome enough for her to mooch off of me. It's a mutual mooching future. We've talked about it before and it's a good plan.

Anyway, now we're all grown up and Sydney is about to face the world. She has faced the world in little increments before but now it's hitting her right between the eyes. There is no doubt in my mind that whatever she does in the future, she's going to kick some ass.

If you don't know my sister, if you passed up the opportunity to know her, or if you lost touch throughout the years then I genuinely feel sorry for you. Really, I do. You may think, "oh she's just saying that because she's her younger sister" but seriously. Ask any of her friends or any of my friends or whoever, she's one of a kind.

I guess my parents did a pretty good job raising their oldest. In three years (or less or more like i said I don't know what I'm doing), I hope to grab my diploma and take on the world being half the person she is. Congrats on finishing your schooling Syd, you're going to do amazing things for our world. And remember I'll always be here, as your bestfriend, to cheer you on no matter what.

High on Life, Drunk on Good Times

I would like to take the time to explain my outlook on the drinking and drug culture of college. If you're a teenager reading this, you may think I'm just a pussy and boring. If you're an adult reading this, you may wish your child was more like me. If you're my mom, you're probably proud of me but would want me to cut loose and "enjoy college" more like you did back in the day. I have my own opinions, beliefs, and reasonings on drugs and alcohol and, so far, college hasn't changed them.

Let's start off with my experiences in high school. I have no experiences. I did nothing illegal in high school besides drive more than one person in my car before I was 17. Even then it was just a day before my birthday and I was driving from school to the neighborhood across the street. This wasn't because I was afraid or anything. I never did anything drug or alcohol related because it wasn't important. I needed good grades to get into a good college and I chose to dedicate my time elsewhere. Also, I was never invited to any gathering with illegal substances. But this post isn't about my lack of social life in high school. We can talk about that a different time. Anyway, my first sip of anything happened the summer before senior year. And even then, it was a sip.

Fast forward to college and there are bottles and bongs everywhere you go. If you've been to college, you know what I mean. If you haven't, you'll see. I wasn't shocked or surprised or anything. People used to give me warnings like, "just wait until you get to college", or "better be comfortable now otherwise you're gonna hate college". You were all wrong. I'm fine. I'm glorious. I'm comfortable. Leave me alone.

Since being at college, I have had very little alcohol consumption. All my friends ask me if I've ever gotten drunk and I can answer that honestly with a firm NO. "But why it's so fun?!?!" False. It could be fun for you. Until you blackout and don't remember why you ended up on the corner couch in a random frat house with dried drool on your face and a blasting migraine. It's fun to "pre-game" the party with your friends until you spend the remainder of the night clutching the porcelain throne in her apartment and don't even make it out. And sure, getting high is fun until you stink up your entire room and your RA kicks you out. Like I said, what's fun for you may not be fun for me.

Now, I know it may seem like I'm AGAINST all these activities but I'm not. Do whatever you want. I just want you to be safe. I currently hold a position in my sorority that is literally in charge of making sure everyone is safe at parties. What do I care if you "can't have fun" unless you're drunk? Go ahead! Take four shots and dance your heart out on that elevated surface. I DO care if you're so out of control drunk that your breasts and booty keep popping out of your outfit without you noticing. Or if you're dancing next to an open window and are having trouble standing up straight and could topple over and fall outside. That's when I come in with a bottle of water and a bag of pretzels to calmly ask you to settle down.

I'll be honest with you. I have had an alcoholic beverage since being at college. I know. Shocking right?!?! Here's my thing; I want to be in control. I don't ever want to feel like I don't have control of my thoughts, emotions, or actions. That scares me. It doesn't "feel good" to have something influence me. It doesn't "make things more fun" knowing I might not remember myself having the fun in the first place. It's not enticing to me. I don't think it ever will be. You raised a good one ma and pa.

I have friends who think it would be fun to get me drunk and I agree. It would be fun to see myself drunk ONE time. The only problem with that is that I won't actually see myself drunk because I won't know what's happening. Additionally, I don't know how to get drunk. Literally I have no idea. I don't understand how people can stand drinking alcohol that tastes like nail polish remover just so they can be drunk. No thank you. Bar tender I would like a vodka lemonade, hold the vodka and extra lemonade.

I titled this post "high on life, drunk on good times" because that is my own personal motto. "Are you drunk?" Yeah. Only on good times. "Are you high?" Oh yeah I have the best kind of high. I'm high on life, buddy. I hope to live by this statement but apply it to adventure. I want to be high on life and drunk on good times throughout my life. I want to be addicted to thrill and remember the excitement.

So call me whatever you want as long as you're safe. The bottom line is that I am living proof that you don't need to be under the influence of anything to have fun. Since college has started, I have gotten really good at pretending I'm drunk and I plan to perfect the "drunk Lindsey" character by the time I graduate.

I held empty red cups in my hands so I would know where to put the emojis and seem cooler for this picture.

An Inside Look Into My Personal Journal

In addition to writing this blog I keep a journal. At first it was to write down my feelings and thoughts in order to not be as stressed but then I started writing little stories and lines. Like, if I thought of an interesting topic or line I can use in a story in the future, I wrote it down. So this blog post will be strictly things taken out of my personal journal and then me roasting myself. I wrote most of these when I couldn't fall asleep so I'm just curious how terrible and weird they are. I promise I'm working on other posts and stuff but I just thought I would share some of the other writing that I do in my free time. Full disclosure, for some reason I always write melancholy and depressing stories when I creatively write but I'll try and find some excerpts that aren't as terribly sad. Hope you enjoy! And if you don't then that's okay. I'm still going to keep writing even if it is crappy. Can only get better with practice!

11/6/16
I watched as her body turned away from him. Her hands were viciously gesturing and words were pouring out of her mouth in a constant stream to prevent an awkward silence. Her eyes were darting back and forth from the door then to him.

Okay so there is like way more to this but reading it over its not that good but whatever. Basically like a person at a restaurant was observing a couple and the guy was totally in love but the girl was not into it. I'll work on it.

11/7/16
There were no bubbles resting around the rim.

Seems a little intense right? I actually said this out loud to my roommate because I was talking about how my dad has me pour his beers for the can to a glass and how I can do it so there are no bubbles. I thought it sounded kind of cool and that I can use it in a story so I wrote it down. I just really liked this line. It seems stupid bit like I think of it as kind of describing a perfect person because a perfect poured glass has no bubbles. I don't know. I think it's cool.

11/8/16
All the tiny hairs covering my arms stood up in unison and my little bumps began to take over my legs. My head felt like a throbbing mess. Streams of anger and pain leaked from my eyes. I could feel my heart break inside me.

Whoa right? Like what happened to her. Nothing happened to me. I couldn't sleep because I was feeling stressed so I decided to turn my headache and anger with not being able to sleep into a heartbreak. Innovative, I know.

11/8/16
The thing about dying is that everyone thinks its so terrible. That when you die, that's it. It's over. You're done. But that's all wrong. DYING is bad. But being dead? I'm having the time of my life.

Funny? Dying is funny? No it is not funny but for whatever reason (probably because I was watching Vampire Diaries when I wrote this) I was thinking about death. But, I was thinking about after death and was like hey, what if I write about someone who is really enjoying their afterlife. And then, this little blurb was born. Lame, I know but that last line was the only reason I wrote this in the first place.

11/20/16
If you keep a smile on your face and a skip in your step, everything will change. Fake it until you make it a reality. Until smiling and skipping feels natural.

This was to make me feel better. But, looking at it now, it makes me feel angry. FRAGMENTS LINDSEY. ARE YOU JOKING? Whatever. I had good intentions.

1/19/17 (big jump!!)
And here I sit on a Wednesday night My covers are pulled tight over me and my thoughts are running around my brain. I hate being stuck with my thoughts. It's terrifying.

So the second part to this I tried to write it like there was a war in my mind of good thoughts and happy thoughts but it didn't really work out so here's the crappy and not descriptive first part of the war on thoughts.

2/25/17
If you plant your roots and just let it happen,
the magic will help you grow.

I wrote this while thinking about camp. That's all I can say about that.

So here are seven excerpts of my personal journal. There's way more in there but none of it is very interesting. My main hope is to turn it into a book but there will need to be revisions and a lot of editing and an actual story. But I can take bits and pieces. Anyway, sorry if this post was boring. I'm having a little trouble with being creative lately because I've been a tad stressed and under the weather. There are other posts in the works though so hang tight.

Thank you to everyone who have been supporting me! Also, thanks to everyone who thinks this blog or post might be weird because I don't really care and you had to read it in order to create that opinion!