So...you're not going to camp this summer?

I've got things to say.

This is the first summer in 13 years that I will not be driving 6 hours to Kalkaska, Michigan and spending 3 months on Manistee Lake.

It's weird for me. Mostly because my mindset hasn't shifted to summer. The shift is usually very easy. Switching off school mode and moving into up north delight. Well this year I'm not playing basketball on the back boys court. I'm not running programs in the barn. I'm not canoeing across the lake. I'm not riding around at 1am with a walkie talkie. I'm not screaming cheers in the messhall at the top of my lungs. I'm not spending my days off on the lake with 12 other staff members. I'm not driving up and down the dirt road every night to dance with my friends at the Ole Soul. I'm not laying on the athletic field gazing up at the bright stars and listening to the wind roll over the leaves.

This summer is about me. Although I would love to be sitting on the beach of Traverse City and walking around the shops in Petoskey, sometimes things must change.

Last year I left camp abruptly. In the middle of the residential session I decided to transfer schools and go home to prepare for my new start. It happened so quick that I barely had time to process and say goodbye to people. I got text messages hours later from staff members saying that they've been so busy cleaning and moving luggage that they were just informed that I left. The people in charge weren't very thrilled with my lack of notice. But I went to camp that summer with every intention of going back to MSU in the fall so I didn't expect this either.

I was in tears saying goodbye to my friends and to my home away from home. I knew that that would be it for me. Maybe a few visits here and there but in terms of my camp career, it was over. I went to the owners office to give him a hug and say I'm sorry for starting a kerfuffle. He hugged me back and said, "I hope it's worth it".

Those 5 words circled in my head for the next 6 hours during my drive home. When I pulled up in Buffalo Grove, I immediately fell to tears in my moms arms. I was sad to leave camp and my friends, but I was also sad the way I left. It needed to happen. I needed to prepare for my new city life and education at art school. But it was sad.

"I hope it's worth it".

Oh it was.

I shouldn't have even been at camp last summer. I realized what I wanted was to be up north. What I wanted was to go on a hiking trip. Well I went up north in the middle of May and came back from hiking Pictured Rocks in the middle of July. I had done what I wanted to do. I had already been thinking about quitting during the middle of the sessions so leaving didn't feel too surprising to me. I was supposed to get sinus surgery and go to Israel. When both fell through, camp was the only option.

Leaving was worth it. I adequately prepared for the fall semester at a new school and now I am doing pretty well. Starting my first summer not at camp. Per my previous post, I am currently taking 2 classes, have a job, and an internship. Well I just scooped up another internship so I am a BUSY bee. Everything that I'm doing this summer has something to do with what I hope to be doing in the future. And I'm pretty stoked about it.

I find myself constantly thinking about Lori's mac and cheese, buddy tags, and squeaky bunk beds. I'm thinking about crazy creeks, all day programs, camper/counselor hunt. I'm thinking about Mini the Mermaid, the Cannibal King, 104, and OY VEY those Tanuga boys. I'm thinking about taps talks, silent walks, girls initiation, arguing with Geneva, and kids waking up to a spray painted t-shirt on their beds. I'm thinking about campfires, medallions, feathers, and dying my hair with kool-aid. I'm thinking about rainy days, Heavy Weights, Gaga in the barn, and the goat that ate three red shirts right off the line.

I'm thinking about memories, community, and traditions. What I think about the most is the people. The campers and the staff. Missing a whole summer of new staff is not sitting with me well. During my off summer in 2014 I went to visit and I felt so lost. There were so many new faces that were having the camp experience and I didn't get to witness it. It hurts the heart a bit.

But I'm glad I have something in my life that makes leaving it so tough. I'm glad I have something in my life where almost everything I see reminds me of a memory or a person.

In Tina Fey's book "Bossypants", she said that some of the best advice she's every gotten was to "write what you know".

I know Camp Tanuga. I know the good times, the bad times, and the people and experiences that have changed me forever. I intend on using them to create something that I'm proud of. Something that will put a smile on your face.

And...CUT

And just like that. The grades are in, the items are moved out, and the sun has been shining. That's a wrap on my junior year of college and first year at Columbia College Chicago. I also finished up my semester internship at a production company and it was a blast. I am pumped to move forward.

It has been a wild one and I thank all the brave souls who have been along for the ride with me.
So what's next? What am I doing here?

Well, loyal readers, I'm spending the summer in the city. I'm a bit nervous because I have never had a Chicago summer but I am excited nevertheless. I am taking two classes so that I'll be able to graduate on time. I cannot WAIT to be done with school. I am so over grades and being in class. I just want to jump into the world and succeed or fail without a letter mark.

I posted this picture on Instagram for the 20th anniversary of 10 Things I Hate About You and the WRITER commented on it and followed ME. WHAT A DREAMMM.

On top of the TWO classes, I also have a job AND an internship. I work as a hostess at iO Theater and I am thoroughly enjoying it. I wanted to be there more and be around improv so things are going great. Also, I need some cheddar cheese in my pockets. My internship is with the Chicago Comedy Film Festival.  I'm not 100% sure what it entails yet because I have my orientation on Monday but I believe I will be watching movies and rating them. WHAT A PAIN, RIGHT?!?! I'm really excited that I'm doing things that involve the comedy scene in Chicago and look forward to the work I do and the learning experiences.

I'll also be continuing my improv classes and hopefully picking up the writing class in the next term.

Essentially, I'm trying to keep busy. I'm trying to gain experience and knowledge so that when I leave the comfort of an academic institution, I feel ready to take on the next chapter.

I have a few other things on my list for this summer. The first is to walk around more and explore the city. I've lived right next to Chicago my entire life and feel like I haven't even scratched the surface of all its glory. My goal is to find fun (and hopefully free) things to do and explore! Additionally, I plan to write in my free time. I have a couple ideas in my brain that I want to get down on paper and write into sketches or even pilots. The more I write the better I'll be, but I can't get any better if the ideas stay circulating in my mind. I intend on write A LOT. Scripts, short stories, poems, etc...

I haven't worked at iO very long but when asking me about myself everyone asked if I "do comedy". I don't do comedy. I want to do comedy and I want to be comedic. I take improv classes and my goal is to do comedy professional but the answer is no. I don't "do it". Well maybe I should start. No one is funny right off the bat. It takes a bit to get used to it and find your rhythm. One of my coworkers told me I should just do it. That its never too early to start and you can start by just performing something in front of your friends and family. I've bee working on a stand up bit and it needs some tweaking but maybe I'll be able to perform it sometime this summer. YOU GOTTA START SOMEWHERE.

And you know, Lorne Michaels isn't gonna hire me if I don't produce content. Pete Davidson was hired when he was 19 so I like to keep that in the back of my mind.

Anyway, I'm also waiting to hear back from Semester In LA. The program where I can spend an entire semester studying in LA, next spring. Fingers crossed.

People keep asking me what I want to do and what my endgame is. Well, I want to make people laugh. In the future, the goal is to be writing  or producing a Sitcom or sketch show. But after graduation, I don't care what I'm doing as long as it has something to do with the entertainment industry and making people laugh. I'll work as a waitress, a barista, a whatever in order to make ends meet just as long as I can also be a PA or intern or ANYTHING that contributes to a program, performance, podcast, etc.., that puts a smile on someones face. Pay your dues.

That's it. That's the goal in life. That's what would make me happy. That's what I think I'm good at and that is all I want to do. It might seem silly. It's not very secure but I'm not a quitter and I'm not one to settle for something that isn't my dream.

I intend on accomplishing my goals and doing great things. I hope you'll all be along for the ride with me. It's all about who you know and what you can do. I know a lot of people, and I know I can do whatever I set my mind to.

I'm excited for this summer and for what the future holds.
jUsT gEt Me OuT oF sChOoL!!!


THANKS FOR READING MAH DUDES!!!
STAY GOLDEN :)


Go watch The Umbrella Academy on Netflix and LetterKenny on Hulu. BIG fan of these two.

ALSO WINE COUNTRY ON NETFLIX YOU GUYSSSS. Support female comedians and female directors!! It's also an EXCELLENT film!!