Weekend Update

Well, hi. It's been a minute. It's been WAY more than a minute and a lot has happened. My last blog post was from January 3rd and I talked about how with all the negativity that happened in 2020, it's important to look toward the positive things. I'll be honest, I feel like an entirely new person since I wrote that post. And it's not just because I gained weight and dyed my hair blonde. (I dyed it back to brown, don't worry)

The wear and tear that has happened to me emotionally and mentally since January 3rd is something I have never experienced before in my life. I have always been overwhelmed, hard on myself, and emotional but these past few months have been more intense. 

We'll start with January...

TV and Film take an industry break in December. The production decides what day in January you come back to film. We were supposed to come back in the middle of January but, since COVID-19 cases were escalating at the time, the studios kept pushing production back. We ended up starting to shoot again at the end of January.

Working on Dave was awesome and exhausting. Anyone in the TV industry will tell you that they've heard that working on this show is the worst. I think that if I didn't like the show, my experience would be very different. I'm a fan of Dave and I'm a fan of Lil' Dicky so I was always excited to be there. There was a point at at the beginning of February where I was feeling overwhelmed and underappreciated. I was doing more administrative work than the other six members of my team on top of my assigned set monitor duties. There were times where my superiors didn't tell us what needed to get done so I took on that responsibility and came up with a list of tasks to complete. I was toying with the idea of asking for a title change or for the responsibilities to be more spread out. The other set monitors would often look to me for direction and encouraged me to ask for a title change. 

Then, one morning we were unorganized for check-in. I was on the schedule to come in a few hours later than the early people and when I got there, nothing was set up for us. Instead of getting angry with my colleagues, I ran around set to check-in the people already here, asked the locations team where to set up our table, and grabbed everything needed from our truck. My colleague apologized that he had nothing set up and explained that he tried to put the table down in various locations but was told by security he couldn't be there. I said it's alright now. Moments later I was being told my check-in set up wasn't good enough and asked to write down and brainstorm everything we need to do to improve it. A little while after, I was told that I'm untrustworthy and "I don't know what you even do when you're in the office". This was the first time I had cried at work. I stayed in our truck and organized it for the rest of the day. 

The other set monitors came and checked on me
throughout the shoot and asked if there was anything to do to help. I told all of them that it was discussed that I wouldn't be to "go-to" person anymore. That tasks will be divided between all of us more evenly. The team agreed that I was doing way more work than I should've been. They had my back and were all upset to hear the way I was treated. 

So then I decided to take a step back. I was doing what my responsibilities entailed, showed up on time, and made sure everyone was comfortable. It was going fine. We got through some tough shooting days without any hiccups and things were moving. Stressful, but moving.

There was a week in February where we were only shooting Thursday and Friday. Meaning, I was not working Monday-Wednesday and I was happy to be relaxing for a little bit. I went to bed Tuesday with an early-ish alarm set because my roommate and I were going to get an emissions test. My body woke me up before my alarm that Wednesday morning and I had received a voicemail from my Mom about 10 minutes prior. She said to call her before going to work, obviously she forgot about my schedule that week.

As most of my readers know, my Papa Larry died the morning of February 17th, 2021.

I have been very fortunate in my life to not have experienced much trauma and tragedy. As a 23-year-old who has a good relationship with my grandparents, this sucked and it still sucks.

I don't want to dwell on details because I am not in the mood to hysterically start crying tonight. All I'll say is it stings everyday and I had experienced my first real panic attack at his funeral. 

I spent ten days at home in Chicago and then went back to Los Angeles, and back to work. Luckily for me, unlucky for the production, we were taking a couple extra days of prep because someone had been in close contact with a friend who tested positive for Covid. This meant I had a full week to sit and sulk until going back to work again.

Finishing the season was a dream. Those last few weeks were amazing and we were shooting the coolest scenes. Most of the time, I was only half there. I was going around, doing my job, chatting with everyone but a lot of the time I was in my head. Or in the bathroom crying. 

It was hard to leave my family and have to grieve alone. My family is always there for each other but at the same time none of us have been there for each other. Thank you to everyone who has reached out to us over the past 6 months. Please keep doing it.

Going to Montana for a month seemed like a great idea. It was time to be in the mountains, alone, and making more connections in the industry. I had never been to Montana so I was already intrigued. The hard thing was that I didn't know what I was doing. We were only filming for two days but I was there for four and a half weeks, my position was a bit unclear. Once I asked about my responsibilities, and the rest of the teams, things were easier. But still, I was alone. I would sit in my hotel room and wish my friends and family could experience the excitement of my first rodeo, or trip to Glacier National Park. I hung out with my supervisor, shout out to Michelle, but she understood how lonely I was. It was a wonderful experience, but greatly messed with my mental health.

I decided to take the rest of June and July to make myself better. I wanted to set goals, and figure out what I needed to do to bring some light into my life. The exhaustion and sadness had taken over, and Papa wouldn't want to see me like this. 

My family came to visit Los Angeles at the end of July, and Nana came with! There were tears in my eyes when I scooped her up from the airport. I needed to see my family. My peers, its okay to be an independent, adult woman and need your family. We had a lovely time, but of course, it was too short. The good thing is that my family's group chat is always popping. I could tell you exactly what each member of the family is doing at any given moment so it's almost like we're always physically together. Almost.

I've been working through a lot of stuff with my therapist. I don't know about you guys, but I find it exhausting being me sometimes and I want to take the load off. There are just things that I need to work on that have been mentally and emotionally weighing me down for years and I don't want to carry that weight anymore. My shoulders hurt and my knees are starting to give out on me. I'm turning into my mother. Anyway, one of those things is what I want to be when I grow up. If you asked 2nd grade Lindsey, she would say an archaeologist. If you asked 13 year-old Lindsey, she would say editor of Rolling Stone. If you asked senior year of high school Lindsey, she would say an author. If you asked Lindsey last year, she would say a TV writer.

Well, ask me now. Go ahead, ask me. I'll know if you don't vocally scream at your computer. I know a lot of things. I'll wait...

NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!

Didn't expect that answer, right? Do you hear me yelling back at you? Was it scary and unexpected? I'm not gonna apologize. I'm trying to not say sorry for being myself and doing things I want to do. You should try it too. But then again, my previous advice to yell at me through your computer ended with me yelling back at you so I understand if that's not your thing.

The gist of it all is I don't know exactly what I want to do. But, I am becoming more certain of who I want to be and it's no one I've ever been before. I feel like I talk a big game and am constantly telling myself I want to change and do new things but never follow through. This time feels different. Like I said before, I am exhausted. I'm tired of acting like what I want isn't what I want. I'm tired of being scared or not confident in my social and professional decisions. I'm tired of feeling eh in my body and my outfit choices. All of this accumulating for 23 years is enough already. Close the show and revamp the dialogue. Give the star a new costume and a likable personality trait.

So, when I say it's none of your business, I mean it in the most kind way possible. If you see or hear that I am working a retail job part-time (which is probably where things are heading), it's none of your business why or how I got there. "BUT LINDSEY, WHAT ABOUT TV??!?! YOU WORKED ON TWO MAJOR TV SHOWS?!?! DON'T YOU WANT TO WRITE?!?!" Alright people, here's the truth of it all that no one will tell you, so I will:

It's okay to try new things. And it's okay if what you thought you liked and wanted, isn't what you like and want.

Mind blowing, I know. We don't hear this enough. I can't stand when people complain to me about hating their jobs, or feeling stuck. I mean, yes complain we all need it. But then do something about it. "BUT LINDSEY, I JUST CAN'T". Okay, but you can. You might not be able to that very second but you can. So do it. Life is too short to be stuck doing something you're not happy with for a substantial amount of time because you think you can't do better. Whether it's quitting a job, breaking up with your boyfriend, dropping a toxic friend, selling your possessions so you can travel the country in a van, changing your hair color, or rearranging your furniture, just do it. Be selfish. My Sweet Sister Syd has encouraged me to be selfish lately and it's thrilling.

Let me wrap this baby up because I need to put on a pair of pants and some socks. I'm working toward some new goals and I'm not concerned with how long it'll take to reach them. If I rush the journey, then I won't be able to retain the information and enjoy the ride. I'm a student by nature. I love to learn new things and skills. I love meeting people and picking their brains. I love trial and error. I love finding new things that put a spring in my step. And if I rush it, I'll miss out. 

SoO, thank you for reading my longest post to date (maybe). I hope to be writing more things on different platforms soon that I (and my mother) will share. But until then, relax and smell the roses. Pour yourself a glass of wine. Watch The White Lotus on HBOMax. Listen to some good music. And don't forget to go outside every once and a while. 

Love, Lindsey

2021(?)

It has been 4 months since I have moved to Los Angeles, got all my stuff stolen, and got settled into my apartment. I had no clothes, no job, and no idea what was going to happen. Now, I have been able to rebuild my wardrobe, I have been working since the beginning of October, and I still don't know what's going on.

I don't like making resolutions because I usually get really mad at myself when I don't keep them but this year I decided to grow up. My resolution for 2021 is to be able to touch my toes before 2022. I have never been able to touch my toes because my stomach is always in the way and I haven't stretched in 15 years. SOo I figured this would be a good goal for the new year that has nothing to do with stressful things like work or my personal life. 

It's crazy that we're already in 2021. We lost so much of 2020 that it seems like we should just restart the clock and get a redo. Time is an illusion after all. Or we can push through and move forward. Make this year and the ones that follow bigger and brighter. I choose that option.

It's easy to dwell in the past and think of the terrible things that have happened. There was so much loss in 2020 that finding things we've gained is like searching for a needle in a haystack. But, I decided to bring some magnets into the haystack so I can pull out the needles. Think smarter, not harder. Also, this metaphor is horrible and confusing. Essentially, I have chosen to think of the good things that I've gained throughout the year, while still remembering the loses.

Pulling out positivity has helped me get through many things in the past few years. A global pandemic that turned our world upside, has taken the lives of so many people, and doesn't seem to be going away anytime soon is something that we all need to power through in our way.

What good things have happened to me this year?

Let's start in January. 

I was able to bring some of my best friends to one of my favorite places, the iO Theater. I spent my winter break seeing as many shows as I could and was able to share the laughter with the people I love. That was an excellent way to start the year. Then, my dad and I road tripped to California. There are few things that I love more than sitting in silence for nine hours while my dad and I drive through the desert with no signs of civilization besides the road we're on. I am entirely serious. I loved it. :)

My last semester of college started in the City of Angels. Soaking up the sun and knocking shoulders with stardom. I loved my classes, loved my internship, and loved exploring a new city that was dripping in entertainment history. I made a lot of new friends and some great memories.

The pandemic caused me to cut my semester in the sun early and move back home. My classes continued on Zoom and my classmates and I would have theme days to keep things fun. I got to keep interning virtually which I LOVED. Additionally, I was able to do two of my favorite things; sit on my ass and watch TV. WHILE consuming carbs. I know for a fact that that's what my heaven looks like.

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Well, Sister Syd came back to Chicago from the rugged streets of Texas and blessed out home for THREE MONTHS. If you know my family at all, you know we're better when we're together. We were all spoiled for three months that we got to be all together again for a long period of time. Something that we don't know if or when it will happen again.

I also spent a lot of time with my cousins, Aunt, and grandparents. My Nana and Papa have a pool so we were stylin' all summer. I would make grilled cheeses for my Nana and I. Also everyday at 2:45pm, Papa would bring everybody in the pool apples and peanut butter. I was a freaking princess. Nana decided she wanted to go through their entire house which is a DREAM for me. My Nana is one classy SOB and I knew there were some gems of history hidden in the depths of one of the walk-in closets. I've written about this before but I truly think about my time with Nana all the time. Everyday I try and wear a item that she gifted me so I have a little piece of family with me always. The clock that belonged to my great grandmother sits on my desk and I listen to the ticking to fall asleep. I felt like I was watching my Nana go through her history and her memories. I think I can speak for both of us when I say that our time spent together this summer made us closer than ever.

Three of my BFFs were home for the summer so that was also a win. Shoutout Hannah, Sam, and Rachel. Hannah left after some time and Sam was only there for a bit but Sweet Baby Ray was with me the whole time. It's crazy how much you realize you miss your friends when you spend more time with them. Not a day goes by when I'm not thinking about these three and I am counting the days until I can see them again.

Another thing I did was exercise for three months straight. Ew. I guess that's cool. My mom was really surprised when I did the highest box jump but hey, I'm awesome. Also, it was another opportunity to spend a whole hour with my sister. :)

Then I moved BACK to the Wild Wild West in search of gold. I moved in with my camp friend Rachel (different from the previously mentioned Rachel) and we began to take on the world. Unfortunately, the world quickly started to close up and we spend a lot of time watching Whose Line Is It Anyway? on the couch all day. But, still fun! We live by the ocean and palm trees and hills and fun!

At the end of September I interviewed for a job on the COVID safety team on one of my favorite TV shows, and got the job! I started working in the office at the beginning of October and the rest is history. Well, not history because I still work there but the phrase sounded good. I can't say much about it since we're still filming but I am enjoying myself. I'm meeting exciting people and making great friends.

My family came to LA for Thanksgiving and it was not long enough. Since we were spoiled for three months, any amount of time seems too short. But, I am grateful that they came and loved having them.

Now, I'm just chilling. I've been on break for a bit and I've been using the time to nurse my body and drive around to see COVID friendly attractions. I think I'm being careful but you really never know. I'm also trying to spend more time writing and reading, My mind needs to exercise its creative muscle a bit more. 

I got to see my BFF Molly on New Years. We met halfway and took a hike where I was heavy breathing the whole time and only fell on my butt once. Loved it.

Anyway, the point of talking about the positive things that happened in my life this year was to get you thinking about the good things that happened to you. It's crazy how selfless I'm being. We can't forgot how hard this year has been but we can bring the happy things with us into 2021 and continue to create good memories.

Of course there were negative things that have happened to me this year, but I don't want to dwell. I want to move forward and think into the future. A future of highs and lows that I can conquer. A future of wins and loses that I can learn from. A future of change and difference that I can be a part of. But most importantly, a future with the people I love surrounding me.

In the words of my dear cousin Ryan's blogpost (link below), "We still continue to press on and try to live our lives to the best of our ability". Keep walking with your head up and because good things are coming.

I know we're all tired but this pandemic isn't going anywhere just because there's a vaccine. Take it from me, my entire job revolves around keeping over 200 people safe from COVID while working in tight proximity in small spaces. If one person falls, we all fall. We need to do our part to keep safe and mitigate the spread. If you have to leave the house, wash your hands, stay six feet a part, and wear a mask. Let's get the world back to normal.

Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk. 

I'm gonna go watch the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Part 4. If you can, you should watch Soul on Disney+, The First Weekend In May on Hulu, and Supernatural on Netflix. I just finished Supernatural and it took me 6 months so if you have commitment issues maybe skip it.

Thanks for reading, stay golden. :)

Ryan's Blog!!!

Pressing On - Relient K

Happy (almost) Thanksgiving

Two years ago on Thanksgiving I had a mental breakdown. What started as a lovely day cooking food with my family, resulted in one of the hardest cries I've ever had.

I was getting dressed in my room and put on a new shirt that I was excited to wear. The rest of my family was coming over in about an hour so I was getting myself pretty. I went downstairs to continue setting the table and setting up the house for company. I started to sweat a bit. My armpits were getting wet and I knew that my shirt would have stains.

Thanksgiving 2 years ago

I lifted my arms up and asked my sister how bad it was. My mom said I needed to change and I started bawling. For whatever reason, this turn of events set me off. I shouted "I hate my body" and went upstairs. I threw the shirt on the ground and sat on my floor sobbing.  I have no idea what was happening with my parents and sister downstairs but I bet they didn't know how to react. I ripped through the rest of my clothing and hated all of it. I laid out a few things on my bed but didn't want to wear any of it. Again, I sat on the ground crying. 

My sister came into my room a little while later to chat about it. We didn't say much and she let me cry. She convinced me that it was the material of the shirt that was the problem, not my body. She was right but also wrong. Anybody wearing this particular shirt would have issues with sweat stains but my body has always been the issue.

I'll be honest, I'm not the best at taking care of myself. I don't exercise regularly and I've never eaten a vegetable. I don't munch on a shit ton of terrible food but I don't substitute much healthy things. Moving to warm weather has helped with being active because I love going outside and hiking. My various doctors say that I'm perfectly healthy and fine so it doesn't worry me too much. But like everyone, I can do better.

My body has always been a sore spot for me. I've written about it before but right now it seems more apparent. Growing up, I always had belly rolls while you could see all of my friends' ribs. I never wanted to be THAT skinny, it was more that I noticed that I couldn't see my ribs.

Now, luckily, I never compared myself to women or girls who were "prettier" than me. Comparing my looks to another women wasn't something that crossed my mind. What I did was get upset when I didn't fit into the things I wanted to wear. Or if it didn't work with my body type. This still upsets me. Bigger sized pants does not mean make them longer! Make the waistband bigger, please!

Throughout the pandemic, and a bit before, I felt like I was losing myself because I was trying to conform to what fits and looks natural. Of course I would still go to my thrift stores and vintage shops to find fun accessories, but for the most part I stuck to t-shirts, Old Navy leggings, and a flannel. The thing is, if I was out shopping and I found a floor length, floral dress with shoulder pads, I would buy it. How funky and fun?

The point of all this mumba jumba is that I haven't been feeling myself. I was talking to my BFFL Molly about how I've been feeling lost. Don't get me wrong I'm doing really well. I work on a cool TV show, I live in Los Angeles, I get to have a little sunshine on my face, but I need to get back to the Lindsey that I see in the pictures from my happy moments. So I used kool-aid to dye my hair red. It was totally impulsive but necessary.

When all my clothes were stolen, I looked at it as a chance to start new. I soon realized how much I hated shopping. But I think I hated it so much because I was looking for practical pieces instead of items that "spark joy". (thanks Marie Kondo) Why wear something that you just feel "alright" in when you can wear something that makes you feel confident and bangin'?!

I figured that moving to a new city and getting a new wardrobe meant that a new me was emerging. But I don't know if I want a new me. I want to dig into the archives and find the happy moments that the old me experienced and bring them up again. I want those moments and feelings to be this "new me" and create this life around them. 

I've been thinking a lot about how I haven't felt like myself in a while. Thank you Molly for lending an ear and letting me get it all out. I think that right now, we're all in a funk. Mine started a bit before the pandemic hit us but it got worse the past few months.

Thanksgiving brings me happy memories of playing Heads Up in the kitchen all day, the turkey cooking competition my parents used to do, my dad sitting in the backyard bundled up next to the deep fryer all day, and sharing a big meal with my favorite people. But its hard for me to forget the way I felt that day two years ago. The way I put on make-up, wiped my tears, and greeted my grandparents at the door 10 minutes after I finished crying. I don't want to feel that way ever again. 

This year, I am thankful for my friends and family. Without whom I quite literally wouldn't be who I am or where I am today. I'm thankful for the opportunities I've been given this year and the revelation that maybe it's not so bad to hang on to some of your old self.

I'm happy that my family will be joining me in California for our first West Coast Turkey Day. :)

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone! Stay safe, stay healthy, and stay fabulous.

Peace out mah dudes. :)

Adulting In California During A Pandemic

 Well America, I'm in Los Angeles.

My body has not been prepared for the 95 degree weather in October but the consistent sunshine is nice. I've been here for about a month and I'm starting to feel like I'm not just on a long vacation.

I'm living with my girl Rae Stone and we're killing it in our apartment. We were waiting on our couches to arrive for about three weeks and now that they're here it feels like home. I live 5 minutes from two of my favorite people in the world so that is PRETTY GREAT. (Hey Lisa!) Sister Syd had come to visit last week which was fantastic. After three months of joy at home, three days is not nearly enough.

So some things have happened. First, let's talk about the elephant in the room. My stuff was stolen out of my car. I'll quickly recap for those of you just tuning in. When I came to Los Angeles in January of 2020 for my Semester in LA program, I packed up my car with all my belongings and drove there from Chicago with my dad. The plan was to stay in California after graduation so naturally, I packed everything I owned. When the coronavirus hit, and we were kicked out of our housing, I packed up all my stuff into my car and parked it in a family friends community garage. It's gated and the car was locked. What I took home were two suitcases full of t-shirts, sweatshirts, leggings, documents, and some other personal items. It was a small portion of the collection of Lindsey.

I was home for six months and had accumulated more items so when I flew back to California last month I had four suitcases full of stuff. 

Now for the fun part. When my mother and I went to pick up my car at our friends garage, I opened my trunk and all my things were gone. Actually, that's a lie. Two bags of toilet paper, my squatty potty, and a wooden chair I took out of the garbage were still in the trunk. All of my clothing, shoes, stuff, and CDs were gone. OH! And my blender. If you know me then you know that I don't buy expensive things. I will hop around to second hand stores until I can't hop anymore. So, what's nice is nothing valuable was taken. But the thing is that those bags that were stolen had everything. My t-shirt from when I hiked Pictured Rocks with my campers, the Amoeba sweatshirt my dad got me for my birthday, all the clothing I bought to look like a professional for my internship, my jewelry box with the hand painted clips my friend got me from some island when we were 6 years old, my sticker and pin collection, etc...

I am lucky that I brought many sentimental things home and had all of my important documents. But it felt like my life was taken from me. The feeling still dwindles. Also, you know I have struggled with my body and my feet. So all my clothes and shoes being stolen just sucks. I never find nice dresses that fit me well or shoes that don't make my toes feel like they'll fall off. But, we are in a rebuilding stage.

I have trying to revamp my wardrobe for a while and this has given me the push I needed. My friends and family have been sending me gift cards and going through their closets and sending me the stuff they don't want so I am very appreciative of my support system. My car is fine. Whoever stole my shit were strong and sneaky.

Here we are a month and some change later and I'm tired of buying stuff. If anyone wants to go through their closet and send me whatever they don't want just let me know. 

I have a job now which is very exciting. Shoutout to semester in LA and Karen Loop for hooking you girl up. I'm the PPE Supervisor/Set Monitor for the FX show DAVE. I'm having a great time and I'm not even on set yet! I just love TV so much and it's great that I get to work on a show that I enjoy. Seriously, DAVE is a great show and I'm honored to be on the team that helps keep everybody safe and healthy!

When I'm driving around I'm starting to feel at home. I know the streets, have my grocery store, my nail place, etc... Rachel and I go on walks all the time to familiarize ourselves with the area and do a bit of LA sigh seeing. You all know how much I love pop culture and entertainment. Living in the place with so much of that history is a dream come true. It would be awesome if this pandemic would just chill out and I could experience some of the action but I also wouldn't have my job if there wasn't a pandemic so...

Anyway kids and cats, things are going well. I've been adulting correctly. Except for the lack of vegetables and exercise, of course. I think that's all for now.\

Peace, Love, Lip Gloss

Lindsey

DON'T FORGET TO VOTE!

What I've Been Watching:

Julie and The Phantoms (Netflix)

This is a kids show but I do not care. It is so good and has so much heart. I cried during every episode and the songs are extremely catchy. The actors are very talented and I hope there is a second season because I love those ghost boys.

PEN15 (Hulu)

The second season is just as cringey and hilarious as the first. This show is genius and it keeps me laughing throughout every episode.

Hubie Halloween (Netflix)

This movie is so stupid that it's amazing. There's love, pain, and a mystery. Plus, the cast is unbelievable. Just remember that it is SUPPOSED TO BE DUMB. If you just go in knowing that then you will thoroughly enjoy iy.

What's Cookin?

Hello humanoids.

Obviously it has been a minute since I've bombarded you with my life, so here we are. Did ya miss me? 

I haven't written in awhile because I have nothing to say. Recently, I have come to realize that that is not true. I always have something to say. I have been cooped up in BG since the end of March and have done many things with my time. Besides having anxiety attacks, I've been trying to do things to make me look like I haven't been lazy. So that employers can say, "hey ya know what? let's hire this cool chick because she didn't just sit on her ass during quarantine". 

By that statement you know that I am still unemployed. I am very optimistic that the job will come when the time is right and I am setting myself up for success. For example, I began writing for an online magazine in May. I do not get paid to do this but, I get to write articles about film and TV. 

Check it: https://www.unpublishedzine.com/film

Additionally, I am the Director of Film & TV for another online magazine. That involves me leading the team of film writers and giving them feedback on their articles. This magazine is all over the place and the communication is terrible so I might be quitting this position. I've enjoyed reading the articles that the writers have sent me though.

Recently I have started writing TV news for an entertainment news website. I write five articles a week about breaking news in the television industry. I am now a wiz at Wordpress and I love the feeling of seeing my article getting viewed on the site.

You can find those here: https://television.mxdwn.com/author/lindsey-rabinowitz/

Pay no attention to my bio on that website. For once, I had no idea what to write.

SoO I've been keeping myself busy. I like writing TV news because I like to read TV news. I think I'd be a great entertainment reporter and interviewer because I am genuinely interested in the topics. Anyway, I'm enjoying myself and slapping more things on my resume.

I addition to the writing, I am a certified COVID-19 Compliance Officer. I took a training on line and then passed my test so it's official. What does this mean? Well, in order to start production shows, films, commercials, and music videos need one of these Compliance Officers on set. We monitor symptoms, check everyone's temperature at the entry point, wipe things down, put blue tape on the floor to signify six feet apart, and so on. Basically, we're making sure everybody stays safe and the production doesn't have a coronavirus outbreak. Since every set and production is requiring at least one of these, I felt it was in my best interest to get certified. I care about safety, and I want to be in the industry. It's an ideal situation for me. So, I'm Lindsey Rabinowitz and I'm a certified COVID-19 Compliance Officer. Let me help you keep your set safe.

Something I've been enjoying a lot is going through my grandparents house. My Nana and Papa haven't gone through anything in over 50 years. We started with clothes, then knick knacks, and now anything my Nana wants to look at. Of course she almost has a heart attack every time we open a drawer because she cannot believe the amount of stuff she's accumulated over the years. Besides the fact that I have a whole new wardrobe, I love hearing the stories. Every item comes with a story and I love to listen to my Nana and Papa tell it. What's really awesome is that I now have items of my great grandma's in my possession. I have an old clock of hers that I hear ticking every time my room gets silent and I just think of her and my great grandpa having conversations in their living room as the clock ticks behind them. I also have one of her coats and some of her old costume jewelry. She was very into beads, and so am I, so I love that I can now wear these necklaces and think of her. It gives me a drive to dress better too... Anyway, we're going through more stuff this week and I'm pumped. We've also been donating whatever things they don't want which has been great!

My sister Syd was in town for three months and it felt like 6 hours. I never saw her during the day because she was busy working but we all had dinner together every night. On weekends we'd play Game Cube, and every morning we went to workout together. Oh. That's another thing I've been doing...exercising. I guess you know I'm bored because I am voluntarily waking up at 6:00am every weekday morning to sweat for an hour. I still go and Sydney's not even here. BUT LIKE I'M NOT REALLY DOING ANYTHING ELSE. And my endocrinologist is proud of me so...

My girl Rachel has made herself at home in Israel and that makes me sad but excited for her. She's been my only friend home for the past 5 months and now she's off to bigger and better things. The holy land. So pumped for her. 

In other news, my other friend Rachel and I have been looking at apartments in LA. It's been rough and frustrating but we are nearly at the finish line of finding a place and moving out West. We're both eager to start our lives and get this show on the road. Even if we can't do all the exciting things we want to, and neither of us are employed, we're excited to journey into adulthood and see what it brings. We'll work a bunch of part-time jobs until something comes up for us. Nannying, UberEats, WHATEVER IT TAKES. The two of us want to be amongst the palm trees and by the serenity of the ocean. Also I want to be with the glitz and the glamour. We're so clooseeee.

What am I watching?

Supernatural

One of the best and worst decisions I've ever made was starting Supernatural. The show's last episodes premiere in October. There are 15 seasons, 23(ish) episodes each, AND 45 minutes per episode. BUT, its wonderful. It's terrible because now I can't watch anything else. I'm surviving though. I take a break between seasons and binge watch some other show that doesn't have a lot of episodes. 

Umbrella Academy

The second season ROCKED. Read my article on Unpublished if you want to see more about what I thought of it.

Lovecraft Country

I read this book a couple months ago because I knew it was going to be a HBO Max show. The episodes come out once a week and so far its AWESOME. The story itself is twisted and intriguing and to see it come to life is wonderful. The cinematography and the design of the pace of the show pulls you in.

Watchmen

I almost forgot about Watchmen. I finished this show so fast because I just couldn't stop. Just an FYI...HBO Max is making some pretty amazing originals so if you don't subscribe...maybe ya should. I knew nothing about Watchmen before watching the show and I hardly knew what was happening throughout the entire series but it didn't matter. There were so many twists and turns that I could not take my eyes off the screen. REGINA KING DESERVES ALL THE AWARDS. She should be cast in every single film or TV forever. This is truly incredible and they were nominated for like 26 Emmy's or something. 

That's all for now folks! I'm just gonna keep on applying for jobs, keep checking on my applications for paid internships at HBO...if you can't tell I'm a big fan...so if anyone wants to make a call...and help me get one of these internships...I know I'd fucking kill it...but no pressure.

Keep on keeping on my friends. We're all in this together and I can already see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's kinda far away but its there. ;)

OH! Make sure to watch Bill and Ted Face The Music. My family and I might be in it for a second. We sent in a video for a contest and I got an email back saying 'hey! you may or may not be in the movie so make sure you watch it!'. So...go watch it and maybe you'll see us playing fake instruments in our backyard. HEHEHE.

Peace mah dudez,

Lindsey Rose

Everything is FINE

It has been exactly ONE MONTH since I up and left apartment MJ in Tower 33 of Park La Brea.

What am I doing?  I'm sitting in my bedroom listening to One Direction surrounded by all my stuffed animals and the holes in my walls that have the faint memories of photo frames and decorative art.
It's 2012 baby!

I've been doing my classes online since March 16th. Los Angeles announced their stay inside mumbo jumbo on the 13th. I got an email from my program saying we all must be out of our housing by March 25th. On March 22nd at 7:00pm I touched down in sweet home Chicago.

Answers to a couple questions I bet you have:
1) My car is still in Los Angeles with the majority of my stuff. My beautifully kind friend Jill offered to let my stuff sit in her garage while we wait out the madness.
2) My classes are online AND my internship is online. I am still interning for the fabulous A.Smith & Co. Productions. I am doing less work but we have Zoom calls every week to check in and I ALWAYS look forward to them.
3) I have not left my home to do anything but go on a walk. I walk between 3-5 miles every other day or so. Gotta keep the legs moving, and keep my sanity intact.

I'm going to answer your last two questions not in list format. Listing things in an article or post is lazy writing. Don't let anyone tell you different.

I'm using this time to my advantage. I have been reading a lot, watching panels with TV executives and writers, and writing a lot. Scripts, articles, etc... I was looking for more time to be creative and I found it. Obviously these are less that ideal circumstances but free time is free time. I've been using my blank walls to tape up ideas and outlines for scripts, which adds a little flavor to my bland room. I've been taking two baths a day because WHY THE HELL NOT!?! You can't stop me. Also, they calm me down. How can I not be stressed right now? I'm college senior who is supposed to be on a program that was going to give me a leg up in my industry and get me more comfortable in the entertainment world. I should be sipping on margarita's on the beach, seeing exclusive screenings, and "accidentally" running into celebrities. Instead, I'm teaching my parents how to use Zoom and sipping on whatever beer my dad tells me I "have to try".

Like I said, I'm trying to use this time to my advantage. I don't have to finish a script in a day. I can lounge around, rewatch Community, and eat another Poptart without any consequences. I've been looking and applying to jobs just to trick my mind into thinking I'm "making moves". We don't know what's going on. But I do know that I need a job after this is over soOo...

I've been looking for different online magazines or sites that I can write articles for so if you know of any that I can submit to HIT ME UP. Would love to get some sort of portfolio of published work going for future employers. I don't think the article about education I wrote for the MSU website three years ago is gonna cut it for "experience".

So what's next?
Well my friends and foes, who knows? I have come to a very important realization the other day though that I don't think I'm ready to move to Los Angeles. I don't think I'm ready for the high stress and glamour of it all. I'll be ready eventually, but this might not be my time. If I was still in LA on my program things would be different. I would have convinced myself that I had to stay. I was already there so what's the point of leaving?

But I believe everything happens for a reason. The reason for the coronavirus in its entirety, I'm lost. Me having to move home was a blessing in disguise. I loved living in the city. I loved the little life I created and the things I was involved in. I loved taking the CTA wherever I needed to go. I just really enjoyed it.

I loved my time in LA. But, I'm not ready for that. One day. I'll be back there one day. But for my own mental health and happiness, I gotta do something else.

Right now, I am very thankful for my walks with my girl Rachel. We chat through everything and that's exactly what I need. I'm thankful for my dads love of grilling. Ribs, beer can chicken, steak, potatoes, etc...I never go to bed hungry. I'm thankful that my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins are safe and healthy. I'm thankful that my sister has friends to keep her company. Real friends and TV Friends. I'm thankful I get time to breathe and listen to music. I'm thankful for all the hard workers on the front line risking it all for our safety. (STAY HOME EVERYONE) I'm thankful that I have this time to think and dream. And write and be creative.

I don't know when this will start to dwindle and end. So I'm gonna use it as much as I can. Then, someday, I'll be able to tell the story about all the stuff I did in quarantine.


What am I watching?
Not a lot. I'm writing and reading more. I'm trying to finish Mad Men...it's only been four months. I'm rewatching shows that I enjoy so I don't have to fully commit and focus on other stuff. Although, Community just came out on Netflix so I will be watching that in my free time. I watched Spenser Confidential the other day and that was good. Great cast, exciting plot. That's really all you can ask for in a 2 hour movie. It dragged on in some parts though. Post Malone is in it so that got me pumped.

Everyone should be downloading Quibi and giving it a shot. I have it downloaded but have not started watching anything. Lots of great talent and content in a new way of streaming. Gotta give it a chance before my 90 day free trial is up.

Listen to Dax Shepard's podcast "Armchair Expert". It's excellent.

That's all I got for now mah dudez. Stay safe and stay inside. It's not fair to ask our healthcare workers to risk their lives and then us turn around and be careless. We're all going through it and we're all going crazy. You're not special.

Twenty-Two

Today is my 22nd birthday. I have decided to make my 22nd year of life better than the first 21.

SoO...

Let's make it a good one.
Let's make more decisions that lead to happiness.
Let's dress how you want to dress.
Let's listen to the music that you want to listen to.
Let's talk the way you want to talk.
Let's write what you want to write.
Let's tell the people that you love that you love them.

Let's dance in the rain.
Let's cry tears of pain and tears of joy.
Let's relax and spend more time outside.
Let's laugh and surround yourself with people who make you smile.

Let's have the sunshine hit your skin and spread positive vibes through your veins.
Let's tell the people who put you down that you won't allow it anymore.
Let's do more things that scare you.
Let's take risks and fail.
Let's take risks and succeed.

Let's stop and smell the roses more often.
Let's put your feet in the ocean even though you're afraid.
Let's reach for the stars and never stop.
Let's spread happiness to everyone you meet.
Let's keep up the good work, but keep improving.

Let's make this your year and not settle for anything less.

It's time to start appreciating me and living fearlessly. Life's too short to be anything but happy.

Here's a pic of me from 3 years ago to ring in the occasion.

BRING IT ON TWENTY-TWO.

H0LLYW00D @rts

Hello from Hollywood-Land!

I am currently sitting in my bed looking at writing fellowships to apply to so, essentially, I am officially an adult.

My body hurts because I went roller skating Friday and I have not been skating since Sydney Roth's birthday part in like sixth grade. It did not go well. I could barely skate and I fell on my BOOTY. My wrists fell behind me and my tummy popped out of my shirt. BUT...I did it in STYLE.

So now, my body is sore, my butt hurts, and my wrists might definitely be sprained. But, hey. That's showbiz baby.

Saturday we went on a tour of Warner Brothers and everyone was saying that they thought it was so long and it WASN'T LONG ENOUGH. I could've hid out there for days and just kept getting on those elongated golf carts. Very disappointed that we saw NO Scooby related content but I guess I'll just have to go back.

What else have I been up to?

Class and internship babbyy. Classes are grand and I'm writing a pilot about being in a bottom tier sorority so that should be fUnNN. My other two classes are whatevs. One is an internship class that I only have to go to 5 times during the semester and the other is a speaker class where cool people in the industry come to talk to us. It's interesting but I basically just have to show up and take in the wisdom. SoO I'm concentrating on my comedy writing class and going with the flow. My classmates have some silly ideas and I'm excited for them to get developed. You're all in for a treat once we all get jobs in comedy writing. These kids are the bees knees.

Internship is SICK. I signed a NDA so I can't tell you anything but, essentially, we're making magic. I'm reading and researching and pitching and getting to know some great people in the industry. Pictures to come of me on the America Ninja Warrior set.

Some other cool things I've done?
My roommates and I spent a day in Santa Monica and that was fun because one of them had never seen the ocean. We walked on Hollywood Blvd., hiked Runyon Canyon, and have walked around countless places. We live across from The Grove so that's fun.

OOOOOOH. yes yes yes. I went to watch a rehearsal of The Connors. Me and a kid from my class were the only two who signed up so we drove from class to Warner Brothers studio, stood outside for 35 minutes and then watched the 30 minute rehearsal. Magic. It was the rehearsal of their live show, if anyone is a fan. There's a hype man that gets the crowd going so we laugh loud and stuff and he started playing the beginning of "Rapper's Delight" to get us pumped. He then said "does anyone know the words" and I shot my hand up. I got up and went to stand with him in the aisle, the crowd said "Hi Lindsey" and then he handed me the microphone. And I KILLED the first two verses. I was moving up and down the aisle and getting the crowd going while they clapped along to the beat. Then he cut me off and THANK GOODNESS because when Hank comes to sing that song I get the verses all mixed up. SoO I walked away with a hat and QUITE a memory.

I kid you not the weekend I moved in was when Kobe and his daughter passed away. A very somber time but, some great street art has popped up around the city. All the buses have RIP KOBE on them and every one of those Wheels bikes that you can use with an app has a sticker of him. It's been quite beautiful to see the city come together.

OH DUDE. I went to the Hollywood Amoeba music store and spent way too much money. They have the coolest posters and so many CDs I just couldn't help myself. My dad and I went to the one in San Francisco years ago and thought it was the coolest thing ever and the Hollywood one did not disappoint. My room feels like mine now that I am surrounded by pictures of the cast of Animal House, Dazed and Confused, and Blondie.

My PARENTS are coming into town! Woot woot! 3/4 Bini's in Los Angeles taking on the sunshine and palm trees. (sorry Syd) Should be a fun time for all.

What's coming up?
I don't even know y'all. I think more tours, more tapings, more everything.

Any celebrity sightings?
THREE!
Jacob Elordi
Bo Burnham
Nicole Scherzinger

What am I watching?

Indebted on NBC
You guyz this show is HILARIOUS. There have only been two episodes so catch the heck UP!!!

Locke & Key on Netflix
If you like magic then THIS is a great show for you. I watched all 10 episodes in one day and I LOVED it. It really drew me in

That's kind of it besides my usual shows like The Goldbergs, Schooled, The Magicians, Legacies, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, etc...

Okay BYYYEEEEE!!!

It's time for BIG FUN.

In a not so shocking turn of events, I can't sleep! But, luckily that means I can type and think. I wrote an entire post out a month ago that I was going to add pictures to and post but I never did so it seems irrelevant now.

Here I am world! Alive and well...I think. I go to my doctor this week so we'll find out for sure. So for now, I'm alive and FEELING well! Except for the cold and cough I have and the back pain. You know what? Not important.

What is up mah dudez? I'm a second semester senior and I am so excited to almost be done with my 10 years in college. I feel worn out, aged, and oh so TIRED. My freshman year feels like a lifetime ago and transferring took me to a whole different life.

Well what have I been up to this semester? I had some really cool classes that I worked super hard in and loved. Here's the thing, the stuff we learn and the projects we do are important. I'm not saying the things you did in your college classes aren't important. All your tests and worksheets. I'm just saying that I developed an entire series this semester, wrote a pilot for an entirely different idea, learned how to review films, art, music, etc..., and can use big terms to analyze television. I'm walking away with tangible things to show and work on and make better.

The series I developed was a camp series (obviously) and I created a show with interesting characters, plot lines, settings, and themes. It's not perfect, by any means, but its a start! Now I can manipulate it to be what I want and then write the pilot. AND the pilot I wrote in my other class I LOVE. And now I can revise it and develop a whole series around it. You guys, it's like I'm trying to work in television or something.

I quit my job the week of Thanksgiving and I DON'T want to talk about it. I will say that it was a nice little consistent family that I was brought into for the past 7 months. It's an excellent place to work and also EVERY BODY IS FUNNY. My coworker Chris wrote a post about this after his last day. You go and see a show, of course the performers are funny. BUT, the bartenders, box office, servers, food runners, hosts, EVERY ONE who works there and makes it operate is funny. It's an amazing atmosphere to be around and I'm so glad to have been a part of it.

I had my last performance with my improv team Brunch at the show New Team Smell (Tuesdays @ 10). It was amazing and we closed out the show. My entire family and all my roommates were there and I did a little break dance in the middle of the stage. Then the producers of the show (ily Liz and Miguel) called me back onstage to send me off and gave me hugs and every one clapped and shouted "Lindsey Lindsey" and I ran off stage so overwhelmed by the love. It puts a smile on my face just thinking about it now.

You guys, improv is so fun. You should do it.

So now here's the biggie. In the middle of January I will be packing up my Jeep Compass and roadtripping to La-La-Land (cue Demi Lovato). Me, your girl, Lindsey, will be spending her last semester of college studying and learning from professionals in the biz, smack dab in the middle of all the action. And I CANNOT be more excited.

Of course I'm a little nervous too. I mean, I don't plan on coming back home so I better like it there.

I will be taking classes while also having TWO internships. I chose to do two because I had the time and they're both going to give me a different experience. I'll learn valuable skills from each of them and I'm super pumped to get started. If you wanna know about then feel free to contact me because I'd LOVE to talk about how proud I am of myself. You guys, television is SO cool. There are so many things to learn and I cannot wait! Do not worry I have made friends. At first I had known no one on this program. BUT NOW, I have friends! Some great friends actually and we're already planning fun adventures.

OOH but first, I get to Austin to stay with sister Syd for a week. Yeehaw! Hanging out with Sydney in the sweaty South. There is nothing better.

OMG! In the past month I have seen Nick Kroll, Pete Davidson, AND John Mulaney do stand-up. If you know me at all you know that my LIFE HAS BEEN MADE. Thank you mom, my other mom (Lisa :)), and the JUF.

You guys. I'm gonna miss my roomies SO much. What an absolutely amazing semester I've had with them and I am actually so sad that I won't get to see their faces everyday. The newbie already moved in! I'm gonna facetime them like everyday because I am seriously super bummed. BUT, we are all excited for me so there's that.

And that's it folks. Going to this program and then never coming back. Except to graduate of course. I deserve to walk across that stage. I've been in college for 50 years.

That's all I have to say. Now,  I'm sitting at a Starbucks, drinking a hot cocoa waiting to pick up my friend to go to breakfast. I had to get out of the house because the cleaning service is there but its too early for us to go to breakfast so I'm camping out at the Bucks. BTW, the four story Starbucks Reserve downtown is overrated.

Currently:

I'm listening to Fine Line by Harry Styles.
Even if you aren't a One Direction fan, give it a listen. It's a masterpiece. My favorite song is Canyon Moon.

I'm watching a lot of things (big shock).
The Toys That Made Us on Netflix is SO COOL. I'm moving on to The Movies That Made Us soon. Still watching Taxi on Hulu. I don't want to finish it because its so good. Finished the 3rd season of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on amazon and it is a HOOT. Mom and I cried watching season 5 of Fuller House.

I feel like I'm watching more but I cannot think right now.

Have a great week and peace out mah dudez!!! Be well!

Boom Boom Boom

In a shocking turn of events, I can't sleep! So it is 1:06 AM on the morning of September 23rd, and I am beginning another legendary blog post that will entertain the masses.

At this time two days ago I slammed my head very hard against the wall behind my bed and it has not stopped hurting since. I think that it is also exaggerated a bit because I have been feeling under the weather. And when that happens, a headache is usually the first symptom to bloom. Here I am, 1:09 AM on a Monday morning, with a throbbing head. I am doing everything I shouldn't be doing. I am staring at a screen, and I am thinking. But, I have all day tomorrow, after my class and homework, to lay and do nothing so I'll take care of myself in about 12 hours.

We are nearing the end of September and thus, nearing the end of my third least favorite month of the year. I am both excited and dreading the months to come because I enjoy my classes and my extra curriculars, but I loathe the spooky season. I am a generally jumpy person, its something I have been trying to work on, among other things.

Spooky season is when people think its fun to scare the bejesus out of you, and since I am easily scared, I get it a lot. I pledge to try my best to avoid the jumps and concentrate on the good things that are happening in the coming months. I do not have time for the childish games. I am working hard and THAT is show biz babbbyyy.

In case you do not subscribe to my life, or are not friends with my mom on Facebook, I would like to inform my readers that I am now a senior in college. My mom started crying when I left home because she couldn't believe how old I was already. Frankly, I feel like I've been in college for 10 years. There have been so many twists and turns that it seems like time sped up, but I had to stay in school.

My sister is coming back home to run a half marathon, which means she's a psycho. Running for fun is not something a sane person does and nobody can convince me otherwise. It's a concept I cannot wrap my head around, like gravity, or having to pay for tampons. I just don't get it. Nevertheless, I am happy to see her because as I say in every message to someone I haven't seen in while, "it's been a minute".

I'm creating pitches and pitch decks for one of my classes, which probably makes no sense to the majority of the people reading this. Just know that its homework, but I am having fun because I am developing and then talking about a TV show of MY creation...for homework. Exciting stuff happening at art school. Super happy I'm not "solving equations", or "studying for a test", or "writing an article about something I have no interest in but I know my teacher would enjoy so I'll do it anyway". College is WHACK y'all.

Fleabag just won all the Emmy's so please go watch the masterpiece and then watch Phoebe Waller-Bridge on SNL in a few weeks. A brilliant woman who is everything I dream to be and more. Also, shout out to my future boyfriend Jharrel Jerome on his Emmy win. The most well deserved award for a performance that still makes my heart ache. I'll see you in LA.

I am currently using my free time to re watch Teen Wolf on Amazon Prime and its probably one of the best decisions I've made in the past few months. I am again reminded of the incredible performance of my other future boyfriend, Dylan O'Brien. I will also see you in LA.

Your girl isn't getting tied down. There are some issues that have to be taken care of if that's ever going to happen but until then, all 6 of my future boyfriends will happily coexist with each other.

Lindsey, what is with the title of this post. Well thank you for asking. Just for a time check, it is now 1:32 AM and I have class at 9:00 AM. Continuing.
The title of this post is "boom boom boom". Now, I have a Career Strategies class that meets 5 times this semester. The first class was two weeks ago, I have it again on Friday, once in October, and twice in November. I did take some notes in that class but I mostly remember TWO things my instructor said:
1) When talking about something that people won't care about in an interview he said, "I don't give a rat's dog about that". Now, from my experience, the saying is "rat's ass". This man said "rat's dog". Isn't that just amazing? So I wrote it down.

2) When referring to the steps of something, he would insert "boom boom boom" For example, "so you apply for the internship, and boom boom boom, you get it". He said this AT LEAST 5 times during that class. It was absolutely incredible. So I wrote it down.

And that loyal readers, is why the title of this post is Boom Boom Boom. We are in the in between phase of a number of things. I am in the Boom Boom Boom.

Thank you everyone you've been a great audience. I'm Lindsey Rose Rabinowitz, hope you have a great night!

Peace out mah dudez.
(End post at 1:39 AM)

Juuly Juuly

Wowee hello people with eyes!

I have finished my summer school classes and its now officially summer!! Woo hoo! Summer 2019!! The summer of fun!!

Kidding my dear readers. It's too hot to have fun. I walk outside and become a puddle of perspiration. I try and adventure to the river to sit and write and I can't make it more than 5 blocks without my underwear getting soaked in sweat.

But nevertheless, I persist. With my two internships, job, writing and improv classes. I keep moving forward.

Things are going pretty well for me. I live a night life. That is something I never thought I would say. I sleep in a bit every day, get up, workout (maybe), eat something, and then begin whatever the task is for the day. It's usually writing. I either sit on my couch or walk to the river. Or walk to the river then sit on my couch. Right now I'm sitting on the couch at iO theater. I have improv class in an hour and then work right after. Night life.

So, my days are pretty relaxed but still seem hectic. I'm constantly moving and writing. The switch in my brain is always on. I always have a pad of paper and a pen on me,

Right now, I am in the July group of Treehouse at the iO theater. Our last show this month is this Thursday at 10:00pm so check me out. I'm also auditioning for a new team so I am pumped about that. My first audition!! What an awesome opportunity!!

I'm just pretty tired. I don't like wasting my day sleeping. I want to get out and walk around and write and watch TV. I should be able to catch up on sleep this week so that's awesome

Work? Yes working is good. The people I work with are amazing and I actually enjoy coming in every night. The nights I'm not working I miss being at the theater and being around all the funny people.

I'm trying to write jokes right now. For my writing class and for practice. I've also tried writing a stand-up set and its HARD. Mad props to all my peeps who can write stand-up. I wrote a draft and didn't like it so I'm in the process of edits. And I'm also in the process of outlining a pilot, writing sketches, and creating two-liners that can be used in talk shows. Just a busy bee.

I went to the Virgil Abloh exhibit at the Museum of Contemporary Art yesterday and my goodness! Fashion is so cool! This mans brain is so cool! And he's so young! I can't wait to see what he does in the future. I HIGHLY suggest checking it out. The way he brands his clothing, and his art pieces are magnificent.

I got to see my BFF Marisa for the first time in MONTHS the other day and I was way too excited for the 4 hours we spent together. How lucky am I that I have a BFF that I can laugh with for hours and miss so much while we're apart.

We went to a dinner for our friends' birthday and I was talking about my job, and my improv and writing classes and she started to get a smile on her face. I'm like what is going on. And she said that it makes her so happy to listen to me talk about what I love. :)

To be honest, not much else is going on. A constant cycle of working, writing, and doing improv. OH, also watching film submission for my internship. That's another part of the cycle. Like I said, I try to stay busy by walking around and going to Grant Park or something.

I guess that's it for now my friends and fans. See you soon mah dudes.

Don't forget to love each other. The world is a scary place and we must all take care of one another.

My Reccomendations:

FLEABAG on Amazon
This is some of the most genius writing I have ever heard. It's only two seasons (12 episodes) and they don't plan on making more. It's hilarious and heart wrenching at the same time. A 10/10 from me.

ALL EYES ON US on Netflix
Y'all if you want to get emotional and see some ridiculously amazing performances, watch this baby. It's nominated for a million Emmy's so don't you want to see what all the hype is about? Try not to fall in love with Jharrel Jerome after watching this bad boy. Ava DuVernay is a GENIUS.

So...you're not going to camp this summer?

I've got things to say.

This is the first summer in 13 years that I will not be driving 6 hours to Kalkaska, Michigan and spending 3 months on Manistee Lake.

It's weird for me. Mostly because my mindset hasn't shifted to summer. The shift is usually very easy. Switching off school mode and moving into up north delight. Well this year I'm not playing basketball on the back boys court. I'm not running programs in the barn. I'm not canoeing across the lake. I'm not riding around at 1am with a walkie talkie. I'm not screaming cheers in the messhall at the top of my lungs. I'm not spending my days off on the lake with 12 other staff members. I'm not driving up and down the dirt road every night to dance with my friends at the Ole Soul. I'm not laying on the athletic field gazing up at the bright stars and listening to the wind roll over the leaves.

This summer is about me. Although I would love to be sitting on the beach of Traverse City and walking around the shops in Petoskey, sometimes things must change.

Last year I left camp abruptly. In the middle of the residential session I decided to transfer schools and go home to prepare for my new start. It happened so quick that I barely had time to process and say goodbye to people. I got text messages hours later from staff members saying that they've been so busy cleaning and moving luggage that they were just informed that I left. The people in charge weren't very thrilled with my lack of notice. But I went to camp that summer with every intention of going back to MSU in the fall so I didn't expect this either.

I was in tears saying goodbye to my friends and to my home away from home. I knew that that would be it for me. Maybe a few visits here and there but in terms of my camp career, it was over. I went to the owners office to give him a hug and say I'm sorry for starting a kerfuffle. He hugged me back and said, "I hope it's worth it".

Those 5 words circled in my head for the next 6 hours during my drive home. When I pulled up in Buffalo Grove, I immediately fell to tears in my moms arms. I was sad to leave camp and my friends, but I was also sad the way I left. It needed to happen. I needed to prepare for my new city life and education at art school. But it was sad.

"I hope it's worth it".

Oh it was.

I shouldn't have even been at camp last summer. I realized what I wanted was to be up north. What I wanted was to go on a hiking trip. Well I went up north in the middle of May and came back from hiking Pictured Rocks in the middle of July. I had done what I wanted to do. I had already been thinking about quitting during the middle of the sessions so leaving didn't feel too surprising to me. I was supposed to get sinus surgery and go to Israel. When both fell through, camp was the only option.

Leaving was worth it. I adequately prepared for the fall semester at a new school and now I am doing pretty well. Starting my first summer not at camp. Per my previous post, I am currently taking 2 classes, have a job, and an internship. Well I just scooped up another internship so I am a BUSY bee. Everything that I'm doing this summer has something to do with what I hope to be doing in the future. And I'm pretty stoked about it.

I find myself constantly thinking about Lori's mac and cheese, buddy tags, and squeaky bunk beds. I'm thinking about crazy creeks, all day programs, camper/counselor hunt. I'm thinking about Mini the Mermaid, the Cannibal King, 104, and OY VEY those Tanuga boys. I'm thinking about taps talks, silent walks, girls initiation, arguing with Geneva, and kids waking up to a spray painted t-shirt on their beds. I'm thinking about campfires, medallions, feathers, and dying my hair with kool-aid. I'm thinking about rainy days, Heavy Weights, Gaga in the barn, and the goat that ate three red shirts right off the line.

I'm thinking about memories, community, and traditions. What I think about the most is the people. The campers and the staff. Missing a whole summer of new staff is not sitting with me well. During my off summer in 2014 I went to visit and I felt so lost. There were so many new faces that were having the camp experience and I didn't get to witness it. It hurts the heart a bit.

But I'm glad I have something in my life that makes leaving it so tough. I'm glad I have something in my life where almost everything I see reminds me of a memory or a person.

In Tina Fey's book "Bossypants", she said that some of the best advice she's every gotten was to "write what you know".

I know Camp Tanuga. I know the good times, the bad times, and the people and experiences that have changed me forever. I intend on using them to create something that I'm proud of. Something that will put a smile on your face.